My wife went from 200-300 texts per month to 2,000 during the peak of her affair.
Haha...funny isn't it? My H didn't even know how to text. All of a sudden he was up to 3000 a month. Un-FREAKING-believable.
Not trying to be flippant, though. That's just a testament to the fact that these relationships are *addictions*, pure and simple. The addict just keeps needing to get that high.
ntl
Me: 30 H: 32 Dating 10/96 Married 8/01 H PA's: Summer 97, 12/06, 5/07-10/23/07 My Saga
Starshyne, It's good that he is trying to end it. If the OW knows he wants to end it, chances are she'll react by pursuing and begging. That's exactly what you need to NOT do. Be the person he wants to be with. Give him space. I gave my H lots of space, but not so much that I was a complete doormat.
OW in my sitch was also a "mad" woman (still is). Former coke addict; bad mother; horrible marriage. I think some men are attracted to that sort so they can feel like knights in shining armor and thus, feel better about themselves.
Even though my H ended his A, during the peak it was INSANE. The phone...the vibrating noise.....he would use it as a pillow at night. So sad to watch, actually. Oh and looking back at the timetable, now I know the times he was going out with OW (before I knew), he was all hyped up, like he was getting his 'high'. Ew.
Now he complains my phone rings more than his (funny because I don't need to 'hide' mine on vibrate!).
Wow, it's so predictable and pathetic. My H was the same way (probably still is, but as we are not living together I don't actually know). And I have yet to see an OW on here that is remotely as good as the person they are leaving.
Wow, it's so predictable and pathetic. My H was the same way (probably still is, but as we are not living together I don't actually know). And I have yet to see an OW on here that is remotely as good as the person they are leaving.
Michelle, Thanks for the link, it was very informative. I especially liked this part. I think it fits my H and his HO perfectly.
Romantic Infidelity
Surely the craziest and most destructive form of infidelity is the temporary insanity of falling in love. You do this, not when you meet somebody wonderful (wonderful people don't screw around with married people)
This describes both of them since they were both married.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
To decide you wouldn't have done such a thing unless your husband or wife had let you down, put the blame on your mate, and go home and pick your marriage to death;
They must have interviewed my husband for that one.
And this is OW to a T:
Quote:
Female philanderers prefer to raid other people's marriages, breaking up relationships, doing as much damage as possible, and then dancing off reaffirmed. Like male philanderers, female philanderers put their victims through all of this just to give themselves a sense of gender power.
She actually fits a few of the categories:
Quote:
With her, he can pull out of his depression briefly, but he sinks back even deeper into it when he is not with her. He is getting addicted to her, but he doesn't know that. He only feels the absence of joy and love and life with his serenely cautious wife and kids, and the awareness of life with this new woman. It doesn't work for him to leave home to be with her, as she too would grow stale and irritating if she were around full time.
I love the ending:
Quote:
I have cleaned up more affairs than a squad of motel chambermaids. Infidelity is a very messy hobby. It is not an effective way to find a new mate or a new life.
It is not a safe treatment for depression, boredom, imperfect marriage, or inadequate gender splendor. And it certainly does not impress the rest of us. It does not work for women any better than it does for men. It does excite the senses and the imaginations of those who merely hear the tales of lives and deaths for love, who melt at the sound of liebestods or country songs of love gone wrong.
All this is very interesting. After my H met the OW, he took up smoking. We were never smokers before and actually hated the smell. So for the past 2-3 months he has been smoking an insane amount of cigerettes. Since he has been back home, he has decided on his own (I never said a word about it) to quit. He says that it has been difficult because he wants to smoke, but he hasn't picked one up in 5 days. Then he tells me that he found a couple in his car and instead of smoking the last ones, he stomped on them. What a visual image! If only he would "stomp" on the addiction of the OW!
Actually there was a good sign last night. He didn't sleep with his phone near the bed and I actually didn't even see his cell phone at all last night (meaning he must have kept it in his brief case like I used to).
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Wow, it's so predictable and pathetic. My H was the same way (probably still is, but as we are not living together I don't actually know). And I have yet to see an OW on here that is remotely as good as the person they are leaving.
