And why still hanging on? Because I'm out of my mind!
I always liked this forum so I figured I'd pop in here to say hello and rant about my instandity for a moment. I probably should be over in Divorced But Not Done but who cares. Who even knows if those I knew are still here.
Seperated 5/30/06 Divorced 03/20/07 2 Boys - 7 & 4
WAW has been in a committed relationship since summer '06.
I've been sober since the day we seperated.
Went back to school last fall to finish my degree in Computer Engineering.
I haven't told her I love her in over a year. We haven't fought in a very long time. We get along great actually. I see the kids all the time and we work together to make sure they are happy and healthy. Everything is great. I'm going back to school for something I really love. I'm almost two years without a drink.
But I still dream about her every night. I am brought to tears by movies and TV shows we used to watch together. She comes up in conversations all the time I'm having with friends and family. I am unable to date or even look at other women. I can't stop thinking about her. I haven't been here in almost a year but I am very close to telling her I love her and miss her.
I know she is in love with her boyfriend and they have been together for about a year and a half. I don't know if she really loves him but I know she thinks she does. The kids see him all the time and really dig him. I know she met him right after we split. I know she slept with him on the first date. I thought it was a rebound thing but it keeps going on and on and on.....!
You know. I'm OK with it being over. I just want to stop dreaming about her! Dreaming that we're holding each other and laughing. I don't want to screw things up. They are going so well for the kids. If I go crazy it will affect them. Me telling her I still love her will make things wierd between us and will affect them. But I feel this overwhelming urge to gush.
Somebody please tell me to just STFU and get on with my life. I can't take it any more. Not coming here and pretending it wasn't happing didn't work so I'm back.
