Well, yesterday I was in a bit of a funk. So, W stopped being nice to me.
I went for a walk in the evening and she called me on my cell to tell me she was going to do a massage, and asked me if I was 'ok'. I was ok because I had spent an hour or so talking to Spitfire on the phone (thank you Spitfire). And of course, why does she care, I didn't leave in a huff or anything?
I said I was 'fine, having a nice long walk'. She said 'ok'. Told me about her massage she had to go do. I cut the call short as soon as possible.
Later we went to bed at about the same time (11 pm) and I was in bed first, covered up and really tired. She got into the bed, turned off the light and didn't say good night.
This morning she's a little torqued. Probably because today is the day she goes on her 'releasing old stuff' adventure I mentioned in Sundays post. She must have told D17 and D12 something so they wouldn't wonder why she wasn't home tonight.
She was sort of pleasant when she talked to me.
She left to take the kids to school. She called me about an hour later to let me know she was on her way to do her 'releasing'. she told me she had taken the drawing her mom had made of her when she was 14 and that has been hanging on the wall in our bedroom, and that it was 'not coming back'.
I told her that I hoped she found what she was looking for and and she said she wasn't looking for anything, she was 'releasing'. I said 'ok, well I hope things work out for you. If you need us we're here'. She seemed annoyed when I said that. So I said "I meant that if you want to talk to the girls I'll be here so they'll be here also".
I decided I better cut the conversation short, which I did. She said "see you tomorrow".
Crazy stuff.
I talked to a mutual friend (T) today about this stuff that has been going on. She was a bit shocked but kind of understands as she know W's personality. She knows 'mr text message' and told me that she saw him with his W and that he seemed to really love her, and they seemed to be very happy together. She said that it was interesting that the text messages slowed down after the 'Casino Night' because He and his W were there, holding hands, being happy, having fun. W had to have seen that and had some kind of reaction.
'T' felt that there was no way he'd break up his marriage for W. But that he might be flattered by the attention. Who knows.
She also told me that maybe W just isn't right for me. She said that she understands the drinking and other stuff but it's still no reason to leave a marriage, especially when she sees that I'm strong and together right now, and that she's always seen me as pretty together, but as a 'type A' I need someone who is as strong as I am, or at lease not as weak as W is. And she said "I know your W is weak, she's always been one to avoid conflicts or other issues".
She said she has a sister like W, who acts in a similar way by running away when the going gets tough. She said I deserve better than this. Even though she knows W and thinks she's a really nice person she sees the weakness, and has no respect for that. As she added "You're kids need one parent who is strong, it has to be you".
I told her I know we could make this work if W would only realize that also and she said "Of course you could, you're a type A, you'd make it work. But you can't do it alone."
No, I can't. I can make my life work alone though. Which I am doing.
