Well screw it, I feel widowed and I am only SEPARATED....not even D'd and not even filed or anything...but still...he is still dead...in so many ways...
yeah, why DO we need boxes for that...isn't there a law somewhere that says they cannot ask us that????
Well....there oughta be.
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
its interesting, my therapist and I were talking today and she was saying that in some ways, being divorced is harder than if your spouse had died. d is more equated (emotional response at least) to if you spouse had commited suicide. apparently the stages of grieving are similar.
not saying any is really easy, of course, just thought it was interesting.
Lissie, I still have a hard time telling people we are separated. I know I need to get over that. must be hard to check divorced.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Lissie's shoes are so hot, Hotier is wearing them in He(( to keep his feet from burning.
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
Matt - Good luck on that job thingy, I know how stressful the hunt can be. The rewards are great though when a plan works out.
Lissie - Javier is so totally messed up with guilt, and confusion, and and and stupidity to be expecting you to act like none of this ever happened. Not only is he sending you stupid emails trying make normal and nice, I think he is sending them to my X too. That boy is just wrong in every way. Poor thang.
Dear Mr. Forms, I never understood where you get off asking us to check M or S. Why don't you just put down one box to check that says "Married (for now, but maybe separated like it is any of your dam business anyway)." They aren't supposed to ask if we are really really old, or really really stupid, so why do they reserve the right to ask us how the hell our M is doing???
I'm still waiting for the chance to check the box for "Potato"
its interesting, my therapist and I were talking today and she was saying that in some ways, being divorced is harder than if your spouse had died. d is more equated (emotional response at least) to if you spouse had commited suicide. apparently the stages of grieving are similar.
not saying any is really easy, of course, just thought it was interesting.
Lissie, I still have a hard time telling people we are separated. I know I need to get over that. must be hard to check divorced.
Well, I guess I could ask that same friend because she was a divorced woman before she met her husband that passed away.
My T said the same thing, many times. Around the time my ex-wife first moved out, I recall seeing a post on a forum here about a woman who'd been widowed and who'd been an LBS who said that it was more painful when the spouse walked than when the first one died.
I mean no disrespect to the grief of anyone who's lost a spouse or partner to death, but there is no "natural" closure to a divorce. The spouse who's "gone" is never "gone," especially when they stay local, when there's a need for contact on behalf of children (or pets), etc.
Lissie,
I remember having to say I was "legally separated" the first time, when I took the last contract I had as a self-employed consultant. Later I had to put the check mark on "divorced" at the same place, and it did feel weird. I'm getting used to it now, though, so much so that I did a double take at a woman's online dating profile where she checked "single" but said in her text that she's divorced.
Oh, and I hear that your shoes are so hot you made the sun jealous. Is that true? Enquiring minds want to know.
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
