Please help me!! My wife wants out!

[Jen_Jam]

Steve this sounds good ... the fact your W says there might be hope, but be prepared for her to retract that too. I had "we were good together once, we could be again" one month and "I can't stay married to you" the next.

Just to warn you there will be downs as well as ups. One other warning - buckle up for the loooooooooooooooooooooong ride. Each situation is different, but one thing I almost never see on here is a sitch resolved in a few months. You can pretty much bank on being at this DB'ing for all of this year.

My sitch took far longer than I hoped - I got my first bomb 05/09/05, H moved out for 2 months, then I got bombed again 31/03/06 (see I know all my bomiversary dates), the only time I have felt really able to relax has been since about the end of last year, so let's say December 2007. I was DB'ing for all of 2006 and most of 2007 too. Two years at it. It wasn't all bad, I got to piecing and there are a whole heap of issues to deal with there (like not being sure you want the WAS back - yes one day you may feel you don't love your W) but the road up to my H finally stopping saying he wanted out then saying he did love me (and they didn't happen at the same time, there was a gap of a fw months between those) was long.

Slow and steady wins this race. It will often feel like 3 steps forward and 2 back. The WAS has a comfort blanket of ILYBINILWY/OM or OW/I want a D and to let go of that for them ain't easy. Remember too these words - SHOW DON'T TELL. I told my H I had changed, things could be good blah blah etc. He didn't listen. I showed him and that had more of an effect, although it was slow to take effect.

Phew! I think i've made the point. The way of the DB'er is long and tough, and without any guarantees. But it's a way that will make you a far better man.

Take it easy and keep on postin - good and bad!