Priorities and tests of strength

[Burgbud]

(Corri) Just don't hold 'the puppy needs defending' up as the reason for distance. OTOH... it's a great way to get female attention.

Can you continue to deny THE GENIUS?!?



I think the Blackfoot/puppy discussion is fusing a couple of things and that's adding to the confusion.

First, Blackfoot has said that he isn't looking for an LTR at the moment and when he notices a woman tending to his puppy, cooking meals, for instance, or making his bed, it tends to cause him to feel closer to her than he wants to. So he takes measures to care for his puppy himself...he hires someone to do those tasks. I don't think he's recommending to any married men that they hire out the cooking and bed making in their homes. On the contrary, I suspect he would urge married men whose wives do those things to praise their wives generously for having a strong cow. So I don't see Blackfoot saying he's keeping distance in his Rs in order to defend the puppy, I see him saying that he's defending the puppy in order to keep distance in his Rs. And if it's a great way to get a woman's attention...does it not get her attention in an LTR? Especially if we're talking about guys positing in an SSM forum who may not have done well, historically, at inspiring their W's attraction?

Then there are actual vulnerabilities and insecurities. It's not always 100% possible but it's always best to deal with your insecurities on your own. No doubt though...sooner or later a woman will pop you right in your insecurity. Deida might even say that's her job. Vulnerabilities aren't attractive. In particular, being vulnerable *to the woman* is unattractive to the woman, ergo Deida's million dollar deal story. Strength is attractive, ergo Mojo's monkey flinging poo at the hippo story. To the extent a woman believes in a man's strength she can handle his vulnerabilities but he's walking a fine line. There are times in life when a guy's just going to be flat out vulnerable. Is there value to a guy in being vulnerable at times when he could tend to his vulnerability internally? I don't see that there is. I think that guy is playing with fire and he's well advised not to do that.