I perceive Burg and BF as seeing women as The Enemy. That's how I see it and have seen it. If a woman manages to break through the lines, they are still waiting for her to kick their respective puppy dogs. Not an attitude conducive to short or long term R's.
(Lil) I perceive Burg and BF as seeing women as The Enemy. That's how I see it and have seen it. If a woman manages to break through the lines, they are still waiting for her to kick their respective puppy dogs. Not an attitude conducive to short or long term R's.
Have you ever kicked a guy's puppy dog?
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
burg ...it was more her complaining that her needs weren't getting met and me complaining that she had limitless needs. The limitless needs and the narrow bandwidth of approved activities that might satisfy some of her needs through out the day, is the main issue W/BB and I have.
she saw our sexual history much differently Same here.
I'll answer that from my POV. No I haven't kicked a guy's puppy.
The more interesting question for me is whether I have ever ignored a guy's puppy, not known WHAT to do with the puppy, tried to give the puppy a treat when the puppy wanted to be petted (walked or whatever), etc. Yes I most definitely have not always cared for the puppy perfectly. For a sensitive guy I am guessing those things might have felt every bit as hurtful as a kick?? What do you think?
Have you ever kicked a woman's bunny?
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
No, I can honestly say that I never have-- I don't call names, I don't insult, I don't kick a guy (or a gal) when s/he's down. How do you think I've managed to put up with insults and rudeness from my bf for over five years? I don't fight back. I've asked him to stop, but he says, "That's just the way I am. Get used to it." He's the first guy I've ever been around who talked that way to me. Every other R I've had has been based on civility.
I've never said "f you" in anger TO or AT anyone in person to their face, although I've said it plenty to the ether and bit my tongue plenty of times. I did do it one time in writing. Words can be so devastating, and once they are out of your mouth, you CANNOT get them back. When those words are on my tongue, I am able to stop myself from saying them.
That's one reason I get so mad at my bf. He acts like language is something you can't control. But he never speaks like that to his kids. He could control it if he wanted to.
My parents did a lot of U-G-L-Y yelling at each other when I was very young. I still remember some of the hateful, disgusting, hurtful, but creative phrases they used, and I've never repeated them to a living soul. I guess that's where I got the idea that I would never be guilty of that.
What constitutes "kicking a man's puppy dog" to you?
(Fearless) I'll answer that from my POV. No I haven't kicked a guy's puppy.
I believe you. Lil has more than once so it surprises me that she so strongly advocates a guy not expecting to get his puppy kicked.
Otoh, you have contributed to my overall conviction regarding how a guy should handle his puppy with your view on Brian's sitch. I can't imagine a guy being in any more of a puppy state than when he feels his life is in a touch and go state for a protracted period of time. Yet to you, one of the sanest women I know, it's perfectly understandable that his wife wouldn't be there for him.
I'm definitely starting to think that what women think of as a guy's puppy and when men think of as their puppy are quite different. For instance, Mojo's comment that FSG was being puppy when he wanted her to send a provocative picture because he's had a hard day. I seriously doubt blackfoot considers that to be puppy behavior that he would advise a man against displaying. But if a guy believes he may be dying, unless he can communicate that very clearly, he shouldn't count on his wife for anything. We're on two different pages. The playful puppy that women seem to want lines up more with what I consider monkey (the monkey is playful).
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
I'm definitely starting to think that what women think of as a guy's puppy and when men think of as their puppy are quite different. For instance, Mojo's comment that FSG was being puppy when he wanted her to send a provocative picture because he's had a hard day. I seriously doubt blackfoot considers that to be puppy behavior that he would advise a man against displaying. But if a guy believes he may be dying, unless he can communicate that very clearly, he shouldn't count on his wife for anything. We're on two different pages. The playful puppy that women seem to want lines up more with what I consider monkey (the monkey is playful).
I probably only gave the request for the picture as an example of puppy because I was so overwhelmed for years with my 2bx's weak puppy complaints about work so I was kind of projecting. The fact that FSG responded to the picture that I sent with a text that said "That's my girl." makes it pretty doubtful that he saw it as a puppyish request.
Here's an example of what I really see as strong puppy. I'm a naturally physically affectionate person. GP wasn't. His demeanor was somewhere between soldier and cool jazz musician. Pretty much I try to do what I want to do these days so the second time I went to the movies with GP, I took his hand and put my head on his shoulder. Then after a while very, very, very slowly like an Arctic ice floe breaking GP rested his head on top of mine. When men do sweet things like that it makes it very hard for me to "NEXT" them even if they engage in dysfunctional wolf/monkey behavior so that is why I say men should be strong puppy. Of course, if you want to be "NEXTED" it doesn't matter and not all women are pathetic soft-touch cows like me so your mileage may vary.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
When my wife had an affair, my puppy took a pretty good beating.
I can see that.
If viewed from this lens, I can say that pretty much every man I've ever met has bashed and lacerated my bunny to within an inch of its life. Honestly, I do not see men, in general, to be worth the spit in my mouth... based upon the personal experiences I've had with them.
Using the Blackfoot/Burg model, I'd do well to use every man for whatever it was they were willing to give to me, as long as I was honest about my intentions... aka, high priced call girl. Relationships are just business, a means to an end. Fck it, I'm a beer to slam. Hand me my money and my trinkets, and I'll be on my way. But... golly... that high price call girl is looking a bit like a martyr to me... isn't she? THEY (the lousy azz loser men in life) MADE me what I am... and to spare myself any effort whatsoever... I can just say, conveniently, that I'm only doing what THEY expect of me... for that's all they want anyway...
So... bemoan the fact that your puppy, through the course of life, got kicked, and assume that every woman is going to do the same. Just like every man is going to smack a bunny senseless.
Pain... deep pain... is a part of life. A part of happiness.
The jaded lone cowboy schtick... is a just another version of martyr -- wearing chaps.
