You aren't too harsh. I appreciate the input. Although I'm not sure that you've read through my latest post from yesterday. Things have changed quite a bit in a week.
1. I know I broke down. I don't feel good about it. I did weep the whole night away though, I was able to pull myself together enough to make some jokes through the tears. I try to hold back the tears most times. It just seemed like it was all over with so I broke down.
2. I do mean it that I can be more of a "free spirit". I've already been living it, she just hasn't really seen it because she hasn't been around. It is something that I want for myself and is not a change that I made for her. I will push myself outside of my comfort zone on occasion since I know that will make her happy and very little personal growth happens if you always stay in your comfort zone.
3. Going "dark" was just my first knee jerk reaction to the hurt that her words caused me. I decided that I would just back off a little and be more dim as you suggest. Although if you read my later posts (Wednesday through now), you'll see that I never even got that chance.
4. Good point. I forget to do that sometimes when the words are very hurtful that are coming from her. I've had multiple opportunities to listen and validate since that night and I think that I've performed superbly since.
5. Actually, she's telling him tonight that she can't be around him anymore. He's been out of town and she thinks he's coming back today, so she's planning on breaking it off when he calls.
Also, you're right in that I need to be more upbeat and happy when I'm around her. I pulled that off this weekend and will continue too from now on...
Thanks for your thoughts.
Peace, B
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
