Several suggestions (hopefully not too harsh): 1) You did the breaking down thing, the crying, the desperation thing. That's okay...but don't make a habit out of it. Personally, I feel like a lot of the rest of the night was about pity for someone she cares about. She comforted you. She worried you'd kill yourself or something. It seemed almost like a mothering instinct. The feelings don't just stop because she wants out, but it isn't that great of starting point for a new relationship you hope to have with her. I think she'd also respect your show of strength and independence. She'd appreciate the fact that you can survive, and hopefully flourish. Being complete and happy on your own doesn't mean you don't want her in your life, just that you'd be someone great to be with because you bring a complete unique person to the mix.
2) Do you really mean it when you say you can be a "free spirit"? Do you intend, for the rest of your life, to be adventurous (or whatever it was that she felt she needed)? Or is that just one of those promises made to win her back? This is just one example, but it's really important that you not only hear what she says she wants (which by the way can change weekly), but most importantly explore whether it's something YOU want. If you really feel that you would have liked to be more of a free spirit, then start working on it by yourself, for yourself. Go do something. Be spontaneous. Take a little trip. Leave some of this behind you at least for a long weekend. If you really intend to be that way, then you have to be able to do it even without her.
3)Don't pick going dark because it's something that is suggested here or in the book. Do it either because it will be what works with her or because you absolutely need it for yourself. Going dark is just a possibility. From what little I know of your situation, I'd say it isn't a great one. Why? Because she's still comfortable enough around you to spend the night. Contrary to popular belief, going dark doesn't necessarily make the WAW suddenly think, "I'm losing him. I've got to win him back." It could do that, but it could also show that you don't care. It's a fine line to walk and one you shouldn't walk if it will result in moving you further away from your goal of reconciliation. At the most, I'd suggest going more "dim", meaning, less contact and see how that goes. But you need to take your cues from her. If she's initiating, then she wants to see you. You don't have to always be available.
4)Make sure you are listening and validating. I know you meant well when you said not to make any rash decisions, but at this point it may feel controlling. Even a question, "how did you get interested in that?" is better than telling her it isn't wise. You could even try validating things of that sort while interjecting a compliment, "well, I'm sure you'd be good at it." or you could simply ask questions about it, "what would you be doing?"
5) Lastly, you might see only slow or no progress until she's worked through the feeling for OM. It's hard right now for her to feel romantically interested in you because she's romantically interested in OM. It's a fantasy, but she needs to discover that for herself, if she's ever going to. The feelings she has for OM may seem foreign (and adolescent) to you, but the call of "what if" is really strong. She'll either get over it and remember the romantic feelings she has for you or she won't. You can't control it. That being said, you could make strides to help her feel more attracted to you. Do you look dejected when she sees you? That's not very attractive. Spruce up your appearance. Change up the wardrobe if you can afford it. Modernize yourself a bit. Keep up on your appearance. And wear a smile and laugh. Happy people are more attractive....you kind of want what they have...joy.
Just some thoughts to mull over. Good luck
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
