I wanted to keep up with your post. I think you are way too hard on yourself. This is not about you, it is about a very broken person who has to find himself.
I am also going dark, not letting him see me or hear my voice. I think he is getting frustrated, but that is o.k.
Hang in there girl. You can do this. Do you read Charlyne Cares?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
