Does your H know about your feelings of him blaming you a lot? Tell him your feelings. Dont defend your feelings - just let him know that is what they are. He needs to listen and not argue with you. If he starts arguing, dont argue back. No one wins in an argument.

Have you considered getting Michele's "Marriage Breakthrough DVD" for you and your H to watch together?

If your H wants to learn to be a better man for you, I highly recommend he read:

http://www.amazon.com/Hold-Your-NUTs-Relationship-Manual/dp/0979054400