Piecin' for a Reason

[ntl]

OK, I'll tell you about it. First of all, I think you should forget about 'overthinking'. You do yourself a disservice. Thinking is good. It is emotions that will get you into trouble, feelings need to be carefully tracked and monitored but not thinking, not in my opinion. So here is what I've been thinking, ntl. Tell me if there's any resonance. I am thinking there is a direct line from porn to impotence with spouse to OW. What do you think?

I think you make a lot of sense. As I have watched H these past few weeks and spoken with him about what he was going through during those months with OW, he consistenly says that the line from porn to OW was a straight one. She was the same as the porn. He'd objectified her just as he had the women in the porn. Once he realized what he was doing (after the A was over and he was in IC and SAA), he was able to begin unraveling the threads that were binding him. And he had totally compartmentalized that part of himself. In fact, in the last few weeks of his A, he was being an awesome H; caring, loving, and seemingly recommited to the M.

This week, H is in Atlanta at a work event. He's a marketer and is rolling a new marketing messaging campaign to several other of the marketing leaders at his company. I miss him and he misses me...we'll be apart for Valentine's Day, but will be together again on Friday.

The hardest times are when we are apart, because he's not there to reassure me. But I find that these are good times, too. Because I am forced to rely on myself to shake myself out of my doldrums. I don't want to have to constantly rely on him for that. Building that over-dependence is not healthy.

Regards,

ntl