MLC is CRAZY!!! What a Roller Coaster!!!

[2ndnoah]

Need help. What a roller coaster MLC is. And is there really such a thing as MLC????

My H left almost 5 months ago. He has said and done most everything in concluded in textbook MLC and fits in very well with everyone elses husbands as posted here on the threads. My H is pushing for D. Actually, he has pushed since he left way back when. I have been able to use one excuse to another to post-pone things and the D discussions. First it was Thanksgiving, then it was Christmas, now, what now......H wants to use a cheap, quicky D agency. I have told him I have an appointment V-Day to do that. I don't. I will not be using a cheap, quick place. I don't want a D.

We've been married 24 years. Together for 31 years (dated since the 8th grade). He is my first and only boyfriend. We have 2S ages 19 & 15. I absolutely love him, even more now than the first day I met him. My heart is breaking. I am devistated. My family is so broken. We did not know this was coming. We have had a ROCK Solid, Strong, Marriage/Relationship, a "Beaver Clever" type family. Both of us are activly involved in our boys lives, school, community, etc.... But, Just one day (September 21, 2007) he said (as I was kissing him good-bye to leave to go to work)....I said, I have surprise for you when you get home this evening and he replied.....don't bother, I am not coming home! What??? Who?? Where??? When??? I went ahead and left to go to work (I thought he was still a sleep) and took my son to school. Little did I know what was in stored for me and my boys.

He has done the typical thing.....comes around less and less. He has little to do with me. Hardly no contact with me. He actually has said he is NEVER coming back. He is happy and is DONE with us. Since day one, he has never looked back only forward all the way. Both of my boys are so hurt. They too don't understand. Because of how he has treated them, they now have nothing to do with him. He doesn't care just still continues to push for the big D. He even told me that I could have full custody of our S15. Who is the man???

He has also given all kinds of reasons for his leaving and it is to whomever he is speaking with. He told me he was tired of the arguing and had been living a lie for the past 30 years. He did not love me. He told his family it was because I was trying to keep him from seeing them. He told our S that he did not EVER love me. That son stopped contact with him that day and has never spoken to him since. Because this was the outcome, my H told my other son he left because we argued all the time. My son replied....dad I have never heard you and mom argue" (which is the truth, I guess that is one reason why this is so hard for me....I nor the boys saw it coming).

He called last night wants me to go and file with a cheap, quicky, friendly divorce agency and get this over with. Geeee, its been 4 1/2 months, now....he said, Can't I get it through my head that he is done and not coming back. He doesn't care what this is doing to anyone. It's all about him, his big head and his little head. The world revolves around him!

I don't want to file. I don't know if I should file or not. This is all so wrong and what he is doing, God help our family. What destruction! I do not believe in D unless there is physical abuse. But, I have a problem if he files first he will file in the city that he grew up in and where he is well known and rubs elbows with all the attorneys and judges. If I file here, then I will have the advantage because everyone here knows me. They will not treat him well in the courts here, especially if he brings an attorney from another city. So what do I do????? File or not???? My heart tells me not??? My brain tells me I better???? Suggestions??? Also, when he left, he left with the clothes on his back. Early on, H came one time and spent the night with the boys (I left) he got some of his clothes then (maybe 2 sets of clothes) but other than that everything is exactly left as if he was had died. He now wants his stuff. Do I pack it up or not??? Take it to him or let him pick it up? Do I get Tough or not??? I have been the sweetest, nicest dumped on wife.