I know the "perfect" thing is annoying. More so when you figure that you're comparing the best parts of someone else to the worst parts of you. I feel that way about others sometimes too, so I get it.
In H's case, I usually end up pointing out what is wrong with me, and I don't think that's necessarily the right way to respond...I'd like to encourage him to take action that will move him up the ladder rather than me trying to lower myself to meet him, you know?
"The fine line is also about holding your spouse accountable for his/her actions vs. acting like his/her parent."
You said this so well PS! This is certainly one of my struggles. I tend to err on the side of leaving him alone about his actions and then blowing up when I've had too much and totally ending up on the parental side.
