NoCode,

These are the "truth darts" that I used with my wife. Maybe you can steal --- errrr, "ADAPT" one for your use!

TRUTH DARTS:

-I will not hide your affair.
-I will not financially support your affair.
-It's your mess, you clean it up.
-Send her an email with STD statistics, no other comments.
-Secrets kill marriages.
-You are being played.
- Your current behavior is not helping the children.
- "No contact" means "no contact". Working in close quarters with someone who's admitted being attracted to you, and vice-versa, is inappropriate in a HEALTHY marriage. It's absolutely DESTRUCTIVE in one that's on the rocks!
- How will you be able to counsel your daughters one day if they're having problems? To cut and run? To have an affair?
- You are placing your friend before your husband, and your friendship before your marriage.
- Forget ME for a moment; you are not going to like yourself someday if you keep going down this path.
- S14 and S11 need you more than ever.

IF SHE TRIES "R" TALK:

DON'T argue past points with her. Simply state the truth of today.

- She is having an affair.

- It is impossible to analyze issues with the marriage as along as she is having an affair.

- You can't analyze a relationship where one partner is making unilateral decisions to bring a third person into the relationship.

- Betrayal is an intensely painful action for one person to inflict on another.