mrscac - I give you so much credit. I think you are amazing.
There are days where I just want to give up and tell my H to just go ahead and D me as I'll never be able to give him the SL he wants. Then, I think about things you've said and things I've read and I think...wait a minute. This is something I'm entitled to enjoy too!
Something you said a while back about your dad made me think about my past history - brothers and boyfriends. I think that if I can build my self esteem about my body image it may help. I think I often became physical in relationships before I was ready because I knew that's what the guy wanted. Oh, sometimes I remember wanting it physically but not being ready mentally, and then when it happened it was often a let down.
My self esteem is relatively high except for body image. I'm sure that can affect my desire too. My H made a couple of nasty remarks about my weight postbaby (during one of his high frustration/anger periods). He did apologize later, but it lingers...you know. (GUYS - NEVER CRITICIZE A WOMAN'S BODY!!!). Yesterday I was at the gym and in the locker room, I realized I wasn't doing so bad for someone in their mid-40s with a kid.
So, I guess I just continue to take things one day at a time. What else can I do? If DD wasn't in the picture, we'd probably both have bailed by now. But I don't know for sure.
Anyway, didn't mean to blather on. Just wanted to let you know I'm encouraged by your path.
