Priorities and tests of strength

[fearless]

(SG) - Blackfoot has some interesting ideas but until he makes it work in a LTR "after eight years and a couple of kids" it's all speculative. Or someone else follows his ideas and makes it work. That'd be proof too.

Burgbud - I see the proof all the time, often on this very chat board.

If making it work in an LTR for sixteen years with a couple of kids is proof of something, I've got a boxful of my old theories down in the basement I can sell ya. Probably some other guys around here do as well. We might make a killing on ebay.

Burgbud,

Making it work, to my definition, means making it work for the man, woman and couple/relationship in a positive way and not just hanging on for 8,16+ years. Since Blackfoot has already clearly stated that he does not want to be in a full time LTR, his theories are only applicable to making his life work for him. Which is just fine in my book. I know men and women who have never married who are very happy with their lives so I see nothing wrong with his position. In fact I admire people who realize that they don't have a need or want for a relationship and keep themselves away from one. Much better than those who don't want a relationship and still end up in one or married.

My only question is whether his theories would necessarily yield a happy marriage. Of course it could in some situations but I also think it would not work in plenty of others. The idea of viewing the woman as "the enemy" does not seem conducive to a healthy relationship although I can certainly see how it would be very useful if you plan on staying single. Specifically that viewing a woman as an enemy would keep her at a distance and prevent unintended entanglements.

To be clear comments like "only reason a man should let his woman see his puppy is to demonstrate that he'll take it back when she kicks it, and kick it she will" are why I use the term "enemy" for how I feel a woman is viewed by Blackfoot (or your interpretation of Blackfoot's theory). Again I am not saying it is wrong that he has that viewpoint given what his XW did and what his goals are with women. I am just saying that I think it is a different viewpoint than Dieda seems to state. Dieda seem to tell men to not rely on their women in order to feel like men which seems different to me than saying that women will kick you when you are down. Even the example he uses is of a man coming home after a million dollar deal and being asked by his wife why he forgot to pick up milk. This is hardly an example of a puppy being kicked. It seems to be it is an example of the wolf/stallion being reminded that his triumphs as a man do not have to be recognized by the woman to still be a triumph for him. At least that was my interpretation...