You are exactly right. If it is a learned lesson, then it can't be a mistake. W/out mistakes, there is no learning and growth. The problem is if it continues then it will border on insanity. Don't they say something like "insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results?"
I know it is hard not to snoop and pry. It is so damn hard not to know. Letting go is the toughest thing. Every time I do something that is snooping or whatever, I'm the one who is hurt by it.
I guess it is part of the greiving process to want to cause yourself pain. I think there is part of me that I'm fighting that feels I "deserve" what is going on so I "deserve" the pain.
That is the part of my wounded soul that I have to work overtime to supress and defeat. Sometimes, unfortunately, he wins. I need to win today.
