Odd weekend...in brief, 5D exchange Saturday was done where we passed each other down a country road. I didn't say much except that 5D still has her cough and she got a runny nose when we were at the zoo. Threw that zoo thing in there...WAW had to work and I got extra time with 5D so that might be why WAW just didn't talk.
Sunday morning pickup...I had already decided I was going to play with dog in yard if 5D was not ready. But she was ready. So, I promptly picked her up and was leaving when I made a joke to 5D about cat in our path. WAW brought up a cat that came home yesterday after leaving prior to our separation. Basically WAW initiated lingering. She shared her work and I validated and understood. She continued talking about it because of my "you are staying busy?" query. As leaving she asked 5D to give grandparents hugs/kisses. I went back to porch and told her grandmothers health. She then asked about my Dad's health. I told her 10 good years at most. She said she was sorry to hear that. As I was half way to truck, I said, "it was thinking in 10 years, your grandmother, my grandmother, aunt, dad, probably my mom, my other grandparents...just everyone I've ever cared about." and I got in the truck and left. Very positive but odd conversation because of the multitude of topics.
Last monday I picked up 5D from school and this prompted my WAW to call and we had a very positive conversation where she shared about her stressful week and pile of work to do. This monday I picked 5D up and she, in brief, said we haven't been doing that. Completely different reaction for the same thing. But, I did a great job of biting tongue and changing conversation by saying I got 5D valentines(180 for me) for 5D's class. WAW has even lost schedule, she didn't even know if she was keeping 5D next day...not the 1st time she has asked a question like that.
5D picked out valentine, with scooby doo on it, for WAW. Going to have her address it and send it. I have 5D this day.
I really think WAW is seeing the life she has choosen. I believe she is seeing me as a new person, jealous of the time I spend with 5D, and really CONFUSED. Her roller-coaster is full of hills and valleys. But I am detaching well from the sitch. I believe that is what is meant by in sickness and in health. To give her the space to heal. This is a journey she must take for herself. Hopefully, I will be there ready when she reaches the end.
Bought Hope for the Separated and the 5 Love Languages both by Chapman and relistening to KLA. Really helped me a lot this weekend. I know I am doing what is best. "structured darkness" I think that it is helping.
