Ok I just can't stay away! Besides I feel, I know I shouldn't give them so much importance in my life, but today I feel good!!
Something I read this morning that I think really touches home for me, at least some days.
Quote:
You must live consciously, rather than subconsciously (or in some of our cases unconsciously!), living intentionally, rather than unintentionally.
Just floating through your days without really thinking about what you're doing will keep you heading on the same course you're currently headed, in which case you must ask yourself:is the destination desirable?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I think this is an awesome post and thank you so much for it yesterday.
Pam
Just jumping in here to ask where the "talking things out" becomes a problem? In my downward spiral I read Mars Venus as did several others that were cross posting at the time in Newcomers.
We guys all learned something we did not seem to know already. The girls chat about things ... for a reason. We thought they just yacked a lot. Now I buy the theory that in many ways we are actually wired differently. There seems to be some biological brain study stuff involved. But also there is the "how we grow up" stuff. I am sure that as a normal American girl you grew up sharing ideas out loud with friends and testing your thoughts by listening to how they sounded to others. Playing Barbie dolls counts!
Guys didn't. We would just blow something up or drop it off the roof and say "Coooooooool"
That was in itself an entire conversation.
Here, you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and testing the response. You should be safe doing that and I think for the most part you are. The catch is, you may not always be as comfortable with some of the feedback you get. It may not always be what you hoped someone would respond with.
Maybe you want answers but get questions. Maybe you hope for agreement but sometimes get cautioned. The thing that you are missing from your face to face conversations is the look in someone's eyes or the expression on their face. They are not able to see yours either. That adds a lot to an exchange of ideas, right? So I hope you can also find time and opportunity to exchange ideas and concerns like these face to face with someone you trust personally.
Please don't feel too judged by feedback from others. Consider and appreciate the care and concern they offer. Then, find some way to absorb it all and take your next step in a carefully chosen direction. Then maybe you want to come here to discuss "what happened" or "why". But if you find yourself starting to go in a circle, that is not a direction and someone here will probably try to point that out. They want to help because they care.
But the steps you choose are yours. You must feel comfortable with your choices, and at the same time, responsible for your actions. It is how we learn from our mistakes when and if we make one. If someone thinks they are watching you make the same mistake repeatedly, and they care about you, they will point this out and that should be a good thing ... I hope.
Take care _________________________ Was2sad
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I don't see where talking about things is necessarily a bad thing. I'm the same way. I talk things out - with others, with myself (yes, I'm crazy), but that's how I process things.
I think where we tend to get bogged down is when we only do that and never come to a conclusion - I think that's what you're trying to say. I can look back at my M and see where I shut up and believe me, it did not matter whether I did or not. But it surely did allow me the time to see what steps I needed to take for myself. So please don't beat yourself up about that. At least you KNOW what you could have done differently. Maybe you're saying you know that now and still can't stop. But you're half way there if you are thinking about it now. Remember the serenity prayer Pam. God grant me the serenity...
Happy Today,
Thank you for your post.
That is exactly what I meant I can see what I'm doing and STILL can't stop. But I am much better. When I feel emotional I get much worse. When I'm hormonal I'm VERY MUCH worse!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hey are you goint to Westminster? Is it going on right now? I forget if it is this week or next!
I do love Chappy but since he is in your closet I'll be careful!
More Mimosa's, we can't let the bottle of champagne go to waste!
I know everyone cares and I am doing lots of thinking and actually setting boundaries in what I am accepting and what I am going to accept. I realize that isn't apparent here as I'm not discussing too much of what is going on. But I'm not as blind as what my limited posts might imply.
I won't wait to meet too much longer. That is why I'm planning to talk to my girlfriend about the riding club her and her fiance belong too. Also my sister has a guy that is her boyfriends friend that wants someone to go to dinner and a movie with once in a while. I think I will check with her on that as well. Just to give me different perspectives.
I have also got to focus on my dogs more or I'm not going to be ready to show next month!!
I'm not doing anything on the other fronts till I see if Tx makes the trips he has planned for February. I still want to meet him in person.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Other questions I would ask you to pose to yourself is: (i) What are you looking for from Tex? - a friend, a P, a C, a lover, a rescuer, an empathizer... (ii) Do you think you are trying to make him into something that you want him to be?
AG,
I think you have posted some very thought provoking questions that I need to answer for myself. I want to be sure I haven't just let Tx carry me along in what he wants and make sure I am in touch with what I want. I think it would be good to answer those questions before I meet him in person. So I'm clear rather than just being swept along like a stick in the current.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
