Choices

[psluke]

W2S,

I think this is an awesome post and thank you so much for it yesterday.


Pam

Just jumping in here to ask where the "talking things out" becomes a problem? In my downward spiral I read Mars Venus as did several others that were cross posting at the time in Newcomers.

We guys all learned something we did not seem to know already. The girls chat about things ... for a reason. We thought they just yacked a lot. Now I buy the theory that in many ways we are actually wired differently. There seems to be some biological brain study stuff involved. But also there is the "how we grow up" stuff. I am sure that as a normal American girl you grew up sharing ideas out loud with friends and testing your thoughts by listening to how they sounded to others. Playing Barbie dolls counts!

Guys didn't. We would just blow something up or drop it off the roof and say "Coooooooool"

That was in itself an entire conversation.

Here, you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and testing the response. You should be safe doing that and I think for the most part you are. The catch is, you may not always be as comfortable with some of the feedback you get. It may not always be what you hoped someone would respond with.

Maybe you want answers but get questions. Maybe you hope for agreement but sometimes get cautioned. The thing that you are missing from your face to face conversations is the look in someone's eyes or the expression on their face. They are not able to see yours either. That adds a lot to an exchange of ideas, right? So I hope you can also find time and opportunity to exchange ideas and concerns like these face to face with someone you trust personally.

Please don't feel too judged by feedback from others. Consider and appreciate the care and concern they offer. Then, find some way to absorb it all and take your next step in a carefully chosen direction. Then maybe you want to come here to discuss "what happened" or "why". But if you find yourself starting to go in a circle, that is not a direction and someone here will probably try to point that out. They want to help because they care.

But the steps you choose are yours. You must feel comfortable with your choices, and at the same time, responsible for your actions. It is how we learn from our mistakes when and if we make one. If someone thinks they are watching you make the same mistake repeatedly, and they care about you, they will point this out and that should be a good thing ... I hope.

Take care
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Was2sad