Beginning again like a newbie

[ACJ]

How we all perceive what a D means in the beginning.

Hence the reason for my thread title. I feel like I am still at (or at very least back at) the beginning.

Most of what I write here is me journalling. It is the only way I can stop myself from going crazy. If it's on 'paper' it is out of my head. That's why you will often see pages of monologue from me. If others comment on it that is brilliant but mostly I do it to help me reflect. I'm clearly not very good at reflection b/c as you so rightly point out I am no further forward than when I first came here BUT now that I have realised that I can start to look at ways of improving that part of ME.

Thanks for your input.