H and I had an "issue" last week. I don't feel like going into the specifics of it... but let's just say that H acted very irresponsibly (not about OW - thank GOD). This is more of a financial issue.
Anyway, when I found out, I was so angry. He took accountabilty and apologized. But I was still angry. This was on Monday night of last week. Tuesday, I woke up and continued to initiate talking about it. He said to me, "instead of accusing me all the time, why can't you be more solutions focused". I agreed and he went off to work. But all day I was still angry. I was trying to figure out what I would say to him when he got home. I finally decided I didn't want to say anything. I wasn't sure what to do or what to say.
So that night, we didn't discuss it.
The next day, I sent him a TM that said, "Tonight, can we have a solution-based conversation about next steps". So when he got home, he said that he has come up with a few solutions... and told me what they were. The then thanked me for giving him a few days to think it through even though he knew I was angry.
It was a good conversation. I did a 180 on that one by letting it go for a few days. And it worked.
H is taking responsibliity for his mistake and is making some sacrifices to recoup the $$.
I am feeling better about how we are handing things. I feel like we are more of a team. Although, we still need to deal with the issue of what he did (it involves gambling - UGH).
This week, he's away which is always good for me. I am getting a pedicure today. I am focusing on me this week (and my kids, of course).
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
