"Insists"? Does this not count as some form of attempt at re-connection? Does she have to get on her knees and beg or what? I know it sounds harsh, but even "tough love" shows some compassion and you need to balance compassion with your children's best interests.
Your question as to "when is it my turn" plays through my head quite a lot, but...and it's the same answer as always...it's never really my turn. The question then goes to "can I live with what is?" and that's a tougher one that I have problems answering myself.
She's trying, but I know she's lost, FIB. You're sounding more and more burned out on the whole thing and that's to be expected. No one can measure your "best before" date other than you.
Try to see her attempts as positive but hold the line and try to get her to open up on what she wants. Tell her you can't read minds and need to know. Best of luck
