Aud, The fine line is also about holding your spouse accountable for his/her actions vs. acting like his/her parent.
In a M, there is a certain amount of accountability and responsbility that is expected. But at the same time, we have to allow them to be them.
Fine line. I walk it every day.
Oh, and as for the whole "perfect" thing... it is annoying. I work with somebody who seems to be "perfect". She's a great mother, has a great M, is really good at her job, is confident, thin, etc... And she's a really good friend of mine. But sometimes, I get so annoyed at how "perfect" she seems to be. I know nobody is perfect, but when I look at her, I get resentful sometimes. Not right, i know... but I'm human. And so are our spouses.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
