Going to try one more time....

[peaceful_spirit]

Ali,
I know how you're feeling. It is so tiring sometimes to always have your guard up. You just want to feel safe. I know. I think we all aspire to feel that way. But the fact is, that feeling will take time and hard work.

My C said to me yesterday that it typically takes at least 18 months to recover from an A.

Only time and consistency on both yours and your H's part will give you that feeling of security.

Also, the one thing that helps me is to remember about ME. When you start to feel scared and insecure, turn your focus on yourself. What do YOU want from YOU... Find things that make YOU feel good. Remember that your life is your own, regardless of what your H does. When I tell myself this, it always helps me to at least feel some of that security within me.

I do think, though, that the more time you and your H work on repairing your M, little by little... you'll start to trust again. But it won't happen over night. And if it did, that would be alarming.

Hang in there. Remember that a M takes work EVERY DAY! If it were that easy, the divorce rate wouldn't be so high and the infidelity rate wouldn't be so high. Only the strongest of Ms survive (IMO)... those that put forth the work and commitment and who realize that it's not a walk in the park.