Hi T You dont need whacking with a 2 x 4 at all. I'm sorry I think I probably assumed too much of your situation and assumed that my experience is the same as yours! Sorry!!
I guess it just hurts to realize that our partners weren't as committed to the relationship as we wanted to be (even if we only realized after they had gone).
Anyway that is so BF issue not yours!
How do you feel you are going with detaching?
Thinking of you (apologies again for any remarks that might have been unwarranted or hurtful)