finally some true definitions or ideas or i don't know..i just think I see how i have lied to myself. I have been distant- kind- and strong - but still to muhc "light". Dark is what I NEED!!
This reminds me of one of my favorite Meredithisms that came up once when we were discussing, off the BB, someone who always claimed to be "dark" but was always in her H's business:
Her version of dark would have me rooting around my purse for my sunglasses
Don't feel bad, Cagzmom, we've all been there. I have also been guilty of thinking that there was the one call out there that was THE call, and God forbid if I missed it.
I have come to learn that if someone truly wants something/someone badly enough, an unanswered call will not take that away.
Mer and I were both guilty of pinning hopes on certain events, and then inevitably ending up disappointed. Once you learn the value of "no expectations," your life gets tremendously easier. And, when things do happen, you truly appreciate them.
May I ask you this- Other than the obvious, why do you fear him filing so much that it may make you jump the gun on it? I do understand wanting to have some control, but I really caution against acting out of fear. I believe you will live to regret that, no matter how this all shakes out.
I am glad that you are seeing too what a gem my Meredith is!
Mer.. uh, don't forget about me..... it's lonely in the corner!
