Yes, believe me I appreciate an EA is still an affair. I never said it wasn't. Her A was physical - that ended. Then emotional - but he started drifing on according to her & a friend I secretly contacted. But the work obsession is as strong as ever - she's conflating her emotions with work, which is the unique and weird part of my sitch.
I'm just trying to figure out which battles I can win and the no contact with OM clause isn't quite ready to be tackled yet. Why? Because WAW is extremely independent and isn't here. She's moved on. She doesn't want me, she wants to continue succeeding in her career, which is very different from your sitch. But with a little stabilization, I know I can remind her of our friendship, so that when I'm ready to ratchet up, it will be effective. Right now? No way. I'm set back by detaching but not quite detaching over the past 3 months. She needs to know that she's losing her best friend, and when that sinks in, work won't seem quite so fulfilling. IMO.
So, I'm going to see what happens with MC. Choc wouldn't do that, but he's not me. MC got her really shaken up and questioning things last time and she's willing to go back. I want to see what can happen with a 2nd visit. On Sunday, I had told her that I needed to know if she was open to the M or not. She replied "I think so - that's not a yes." After our next session, if she's still that indecisive, I'm filing. 6 month wait period, so once she gets the papers I'm telling her the clock is now ticking. Are we going to work on this or not?
