Adding to my sinking feelings is the very negative trend of interactions between me & my little girl. I just got off the phone with her and as has been the case over the last 4 calls to her she was not expressive in the least. So they tend to be very short calls with me doing virtually all the talking.
Oh well I am no stranger to rejection. Guess I had better prepare for a double spear through the heart.
I am beginning to see things with a little more crystal clear observation. For instance, I am and have been since June a person with no real roots of an actual home. I am essentially a gypsy. I don't even wish to continue to drag all my [censored] in bags, luggage and a trash strown vehicle containing a dog to my parents anymore. That is where I have been spending my weekends. I told them today I plan on not subjecting them to that anymore. It is really pitiful.
I never really was all that organinzed of a person to begin with (although I have made strides to overcome it)but due to all this SHIP taking place I am really losing it. I can not keep track of anything. I am out of order.
