Tackling MY Future with Enjoyment!

[Jeanette1120]

{{{WCW}}}

Hi-Jack away dahling....FEEL FREE! and a

Oh Thank God you understood what I was saying! I read those posts so many times trying to see where I had mis-communicated, but perhaps it wasn't my lack of communication, it was just coming from a different direction? I am a rescuer by nature and it's hard for me to crucify even the guilty. Especially when I chose to accept and try to change. (the execption would be myself as I seem to have no problems crucifying me). Also I find it a bit challenging to keep popping the dictionary up to fully understand a word...yes, don't get me wrong, I know big words, but to me, it's easier to speak in a language we all can understand....Webster put small words in the dictionary for a reason ya know
Disclaimer! I love BIG WORDS and people who use BIG WORDS I am not bashing intellecuality here!

The killer though is when he does act kind or do something nice for me and I think is this a change? Not really, but he gets me every time even after all this time. I am stuck, he is stuck, we are stuck together, which in his mind means misery

.

YES YES YES!! Are we suckers or what? No, we are just trying to keep the faith and not quite ready to give up just yet. Thats all. Most would say whats the problem, he's paying the bills, your in the house, life should be good right? Wrong! It's like being a prisioner, unable to move in a healthy direction whithout upsetting the Captain I have to learn to accept what keeps me stuck, and figure out a way to get this man to speak to me without HIM thinking I am plotting an overtake of his Kingdom.

Just like you with the house, you can't really move on with your life when you still have ties that bind. It's like they don't want to let you go enough that you don't still need them for something

Exactly!!! WHY? Is he lazy. Un-motivated? Too busy? Waiting for the market to improve? Thinking of one day returning? Punishing me??? Waiting for pigs to fly? WHY???

He said sure, even if he wasn't living here I could still count on him to do chores while I was gone. I asked why he would want to do that? His answer - just because I leave doesn't mean I have to hate you

!

Whoa Girl....where is your thread!?!? I need to find out HOW it came about that HE was actually able to form a conversation with you, AND how HE can come over and help with HIS HOME!?!? The only way I know Rich knows he still OWNS a home is his bitching about payting the mortgage....OH WAIT! The sprinkler motor....he did pick that up several months ago to get repaired, not sure where it's at now...but I will make an educated guess and says it's rolling around happily in the back of his truck.

I'd say we'd pair up and solution solve but we would post at a snails pace......or something that crawls even slower.

I shall try and find your thread!

Thanks so much WCW! I'll be a happy camper today.

Jeanette

[WCW]

Also I find it a bit challenging to keep popping the dictionary up to fully understand a word

Oh I am SO glad I am not the only one!

figure out a way to get this man to speak to me without HIM thinking I am plotting an overtake of his Kingdom.

Wait, were in my house yesterday? It was a rare ocassion that H and I had some kind of an R talk, and in an even rarer moment H answered a question I asked him. But he answered in such a weird way, I asked if that was a trick answer. He said why not, you only ask trick questions!

Exactly!!! WHY? Is he lazy. Un-motivated? Too busy? Waiting for the market to improve? Thinking of one day returning? Punishing me??? Waiting for pigs to fly? WHY???

Ditto! I cannot figure out why H is still home with me. Maybe he feels sorry for me, maybe he knows neither of us can afford to financially keep the place without the other one. I hate to have a M arranged for financial reasons but there is a lot of them out there, never figured I'd be one of them either!

Whoa Girl....where is your thread!?!? I need to find out HOW it came about that HE was actually able to form a conversation with you, AND how HE can come over and help with HIS HOME!?!?

As I said, it was a very rare R talk. Maybe we are both growing up a little more and are ready to deal with more of this crap. Nare a snarky word from either of us!(do those count as big words?) We both cried, which is also rare. We actually reached some emotions, which is rare. We shared some feelings, which is rare. H even told me one thing he is afraid of, which is....um...rare!!! Gathering my thoughts to post about it.
I would love to solution solve. Where to start??

BTW, don't lift 50 pounds 3 months post surgery. It still hurts the next day!

[Jeanette1120]

Keekers...

I shall answer your question over here.

Yes, I saw it. It was on Yahoo and Aol. AmyC emailed it to me as I totally just missed it, then my Father called asking me if that was the same Teddie.

It's so tragic. To die during your wedding dance. May God Bless Her as she died happy.

I've been struggling with issues about it tho.....because I know the whole story. It was not so beautiful in the beginning as they make it seem. Rich and I were still married then...

As a matter o fact, when Rich did move in with Teddie she was staying there almost all the time, Rich told me oneday when he came home from work at 11PM she was crying at the table, and he asked her why? She said she couldn't understand why Teddie was going out so late....that she needed him there sometimes and she was feeling so left out.

She was me before Rich left. I felt that same way when Teddie went throug his divorce and leaned so heavily on Rich. I was left our of everything. It was all a big secret from me. They would talk 10x a day, they would go out 4x a week.....

So sad....

The kicker of it is....Teddie was only settling for her as he felt he wasn't much of a catch, so this was the best he could do. Now that was 2 years ago....back then he did not want to get married again, nor have anymore children. I truly hope that he was Marrying Her for the RIGHT reasons...

You know what? I've been thinking alot about this today, I do think he married her because he loved her. Alot can change in two years. She was a very nice kind hearted woman. She will be missed I am sure.

So yes, you've seen Teddie, the other half of the boy band.

I'm impressed Keekers that you caught that!

Hugs sweetie....all is going to be good in life again.

Jeanette

[kikifree]

Thank you for sharing...Wow...that is so close to home for you.

and yes,... life will be better than good.

Hugs to you, Jeanette.

[Jeanette1120]

Thanks Keekers....

Teddie played such a huge roll in the downfall of my marriage that I hated him for so long. I did not know then that if I had been more supportive towards him, wait.....in the beginning I was supportive WE were supportive, then things changed, as his divorce got uglier, they left me out .....Rich was following his wife at 4am to see if she had an OM. I told Rich that he was getting too involved in something that was not his business and not healthy for him to do.

Thats when the secrets started......the phone calls, and me being left out. The further Teddie sank, the further Rich withdrew from, the further Rich withdrew, the more frustration I had. I did not know how to deal with it then. I do now.

My well, Rich is diabetic also. His father died of heart failure in his early 50's, Rich is 43 now. Rich does not eat healthy nor exercise

Although I did know about this a week ago...as he told me, I did not know all the details as I read today.

I'm wondering if this might put a thought into his head of what he had of what he left behind who is still here. Or if he is really still with the ow? I may never know these answers, so I better just start accepting.

I did send him an email regarding todays news. It was full of encouragement for Teddie. I have no more ill feeling towards this man, haven't had any in a long time. He was going through pain of divoce and leaving his 3 children. I guess as Rich's friend he thought he was doing the right thing...helping Rich move along and leave me.

We will see......

Only time will tell us what our future holds.

[Jeanette1120]

I had a totally selfish yet realistic thought last night as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep, but kept thinking instead.

So lets say Rich was there for Teddy while he went through his divorce as any friend should be, but once divorce was over it turned into a single man and a married troubled man who spend ALOT OF TIME TOGETHER.

Now Teddy is alone again (and I truly am sorry for this) so, my selfish side says once again, there is no room for me

It's like there is this cloud of doom that hovers over Teddy's head, or maybe it's Rich's head and Teddy is just always there? But even back 2 years before I seperation when we went to Rich's 20th year high school reunion, Teddy so wanted to see this one girl. MARLA......well, we all did. We all had fun. We all went out after the reunion. But it was MY H whom had a 2500.00 cell phone bill from talking to her (2months worth) it was my H who secretly flew to NY 2x to see her. It was my H who begged to come home after I found out....of course Rich said he was only trying to help her as she had 4 kids and a bad marriage.

Things were absolutly beautiful the year and few months that followed, then Teddy stepped back in the pic with his divorce..

Am i wrong for thinking these thoughts? Am I wrong for thinking these thoughts?? Or am I just looking for an easy target?

Yes I know I played my part....I've explained that I felt neglected and did not handle it properly AT ALL. I mean, it got so bad between him and Teddy I told Rich to take him and his faggot MFing friend and leave.........4 months later they did.

Hellooooooooo past!! It's all coming back to me now. Bleh

[kikifree]

Jeanette , I can understand how you feel.

And it is good to get it out. Instead of replaying it in your head.

But Karma works in a funny way sometimes and it always takes care of itself.

Get it ALL out! THen it will no longer be ther to haunt you.

THat freakin past stuff...

(((Hugs))) to you, darling!

[Holly06]

Hey,
I will call you tonight. I think I have an idea to unstuck you.
The glue release takes along time tho. So you will still feel stuck, but the advice thing, and him feeling like an analysis specimen.....


As he is opening up to you, BE STILL. No advice. He is a man who wants to be trusted. He is looking within himself for the answers to his problems, and he is mustering all the courage and trust of himself that he can, and he has to do it on his own power and initiative.

All you can do to bring him closer to you is listen.
The most you can say is, " I trust you to find your way".

That consistently applied will unstuck you. (spellcheck made me change it. I thought it was funny)
He needs lots of experience, consistency with "Jeanette with no advice" before you will see the results.


No advice.
Just listen.
Admire and trust him to find his way.

Get out of the way for God to work.

That is how you will get unstuck!!!!!!!


BTW, please do not ask Jeanette about my sordid little story from this weekend. She will not tell. She knows it all, but will not tell.

[Holly06]

Been thinking about you and Rich all the way to work.
I really think this will get you unstuck, but like all cures, the medicine is hard to take, and consistantly taking the medicine is HARD.

I glovers you!

[Jeanette1120]

WHERE IS MY LIP QUIVER ICON!!!!!?????

Don't forget that I am re-blonding tonight so it will be after 8 before I'm home.

Thank you so much for being so GIVING of your time and energy.

No matter how I achieve being unstuck, it will be good for me.

Don't worry about the patience part. Got that down to a friggen science now. (rolling eyes icon)

I glovers you!

Is that in the dictionary??? Or is this some of your Hollyisms?

Glov´er
n. 1. One whose trade it is to make or sell gloves.Glover's suture
a kind of stitch used in sewing up wounds, in which the thread is drawn alternately through each side from within outward

Fine...LOL Phbttttt.

You make me smile