Wife has filed, and on we go

[grid, lost]

I don't think wanting to share your live with someone means your loosing the will to stand. I feel the same way, I'd love to spend some time with a female just to talk and have a meal with. I don't thing that going to dinner with someone would be such a bad thing, especially since you and H have been apart so long.

thanks mike for your input. I am tired of it all at the present. Really can care less about H at present. Just to many other down things going on that he elected couldn't deal with and left me to deal with !!!!

She brought that up and got defensive about it. Said that I made her feel uncomfortable while I was in the hosp, that I would wink at her. I don't remember I was on too much morphine and vicodins at the time to remember a lot. I wonder if that is the approach to take with her.

i don't know if it is MLC or depression but your W is not thinking at all!!!! The MLC everyone except the person is the reason they act as they do. IF the rest of the world would just get it then MLC would be fine. At least that seems to be their thinking to me. Seems to be where your W is at. Do not beat yourself up over the hospital issue. What ever your W says. Being drugged does not give a person a reason to act as your W has. She is just trying to justify herself and she can't!!! Don't fall for her "your the problem tactic, please."
BTW, have you spent a weekend with Aunt as you mentioned?
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

As fer as the W justification, I think that's what they all do, try to put the blame on the LBS. By the way, I was drugged not the W. I was on so much that the room temp was 67 degrees and I was still sweating all the time, aah good times, not!

Haven't spent the weekend with my aunt/big sister, maybe in a couple of weeks. Need to work on replacing a portion of the kitchen ceiling this weekend, bath tub upstairs leaked down onto ceiling and had to cut holes to find tub and find source of leak. I'm thinking of pizza weekend the following weekend. The kids will love that.

Got home from cardiac rehab last night, W's car was in the driveway. Lots of thoughts ran through my mind but pushed them back and didn't get my hopes up. Stuff like maybe she's here wanting to reconcile, work on M. She came to give S25 his birthday card, he's 26 now. She was pleasant, a step up from when she first dropped the Dbomb. I walked her out when she left told her we need to get together to talk about what she wants from the house, if we can come up with a list that we're happy with we'll save money on the attys. I said we could do it over a dinner. She said OK.

S26 wants to be a police officer and doesn't want to sign a lease then have to move into the city or area where he gets a job.

I was wondering with what I said about agreeing with her about deserving someone better than her and it got back to her. She got defensive about it, if that might be an approach to take. kind of acting that she's not worthy of having me. Just wondering.

Did a stress test today, all OK, cleared to referee soccer again. I think I'll start with 14 and under to start with. Signed up for 2 tournaments at the club where D19 used to play out of. They have girls games one weekend , the next is the boys. They get about 450 teams for each group. Looking forward to some running around, although I did tell W if she wants to work on M I will give up reffing to have more time with her.

Mike

[grid, lost]

bath tub upstairs leaked down onto ceiling and had to cut holes to find tub and find source of leak. I'm thinking of pizza weekend the following weekend. The kids will love that.

Oh Ouch, well you certainly know how to spend spare time! lol What a mess. Plumbing here backed about about 3 weeks ago and what a mess. One profession can't do with out, plumbers! lol
As far as seperating the property, W is going to have a shock befor this is all over. She planning to live with daughter forever?? How come she doesn't try an apartment first, etc.?? Foolish person! W is going to get a shock in her life style that is for sure. What will you have to do take out a morgage to purch. W 1/2 in house? H has agreeded to give me the equity in this house so I can purchase another. Wish could find one before OW convinces him to take some of the equity so they can purchase a house. LORD, that is all I need. I have sorta given up on H and our R. Get the feeling you have done the same. Guess after time one just runs out of care juice. I've started donating time at the SPCA and enjoy helping see animals get a second chance. It is a no kill shelter for animals that are fit to be adopted. Some of them wait a Long Time for a home. Small shelter.

She came to give S25 his birthday card, he's 26 now. She was pleasant, a step up from when she first dropped the Dbomb. I walked her out when she left told her we need to get together to talk about what she wants from the house,

y
Well at least she thought of this time!!! Ever find out why W stop talking to sons??? They told her the truth want to bet? lol

S26 wants to be a police officer and doesn't want to sign a lease then have to move into the city or area where he gets a job.

She got defensive about it, if that might be an approach to take. kind of acting that she's not worthy of having me. Just wondering.

Well since nothing you do seems to help guess can't hurt. BTW how has the coaching session gone? I have dog class till late tonight so may not be able to check postings for a day or two. Hope session goes well for you. One thing I have learned is we can not control or change what another person does. All we can do is hope our actions are well received.

Did a stress test today, all OK, cleared to referee soccer again. I think I'll start with 14

Wonderful! You will be so much better getting out with other people. Woman will be throwing theirselves at you, watch and see.
Has Son considered applying to areas far away from home? For example city here is often looking for people from out of the area just so they do not get locked into all local attitudes.
Your son will have a hell of a time getting on force with all the vets coming back from Iraq. Do wish him best of luck. Even state police have to score 95 and above on exam to get an interview. Take that back, NYS has been loosing troopers so it is down now.
Well better run and check a couple other posts. Then head out for dog class. BRRR temp is near 20 and dropping. I must be crazy!!

[micoms]

Grid,

Yes it's drywall time this weekend. I fixed tub myself, the overflow tube gasket was bad, but water did damage to kitchen ceiling.

W is living with D24 because W doesn't make enough to afford an apt on her own, she wants $1200/mo spousal support from me. That's 31% of my take home pay. I've been preapproved for a mortgage loan to borrow enough to give her half of the equity.

Had 1st coaching session tonight. I've only had contact with W about every two weeks, coach said now isn't the time to go dark. Go to D's house, only stay half an hour. Compliment W while heading out the door to meet a friend for a couple of drinks. She said be real evasive about who and don't answer if male or female.

S26 doesn't want to move too far from home, he's very close with his brother, goes to his house every week. He's taken the entry test and passed to get in my trade, working on elevators. he has to go for the interview part soon. According to Forbes we are the highest paid blue collar workers in the nation.

We has white death and ice predicted the two days, up to 6" of snow. The w-man missed it big time, you can still see the grass through the snow and ice. Lows in the teens tonight. At least you have those mountain dogs to keep your feet warm, that is if they don't push you out of the bed!!!

Time to put into action what coach said tomorrow. I think I'll stop by D's house all dressed up, stay a few minutes to drop off her mail, give W a compliment on the way out. Maybe I'll see if aunt wants to see a movie. She has a guy friend,she thinks he might be starting with alzhimers. Both his sister and mother have passed away from it.

Mike

[grid, lost]

Yes it's drywall time this weekend.

Have fun, BTW, I have a carpenter work for you if you get want more work. lol

W is living with D24 because W doesn't make enough to afford an apt on her own, she wants $1200/mo spousal support from me. That's 31% of my take home pay.

Well that is no small piece of pocket change. How can she get that much when she walked out on you??? Don't get me wrong I feel woman should be looked after with D but in your case she walked not you. So would seem her max would be like 20%. Or does it not matter? What does your attorney say? H and I have been together for 20+yrs but only married just under 5 yrs. So if he D me I would be out of luck, except in this state walking out was the worst thing he could do plus I am disabled. So most judges would not look nicely upon him. Just hope he does not file for D. Although he did retain an attorney so I am sure in time he will file. Although wish for 10 yrs M as I would then be entitled to his amount of social security. H agrees that is important. Don't expect him to file right away. Of course if his OW has any brains, she will be to old for kids by the time we would D. Du, what woman wants that sort of long term R?? Answer: the OW ! lol

I've been preapproved for a mortgage loan to borrow enough to give her half of the equity.

GOOD. least you do not have to worry about house./home

Had 1st coaching session tonight. I've only had contact with W about every two weeks, coach said now isn't the time to go dark.

Did the coach say Why you should not go dark???

According to Forbes we are the highest paid blue collar workers in the nation.

Yes, I noticed the same article. Lucky dog, you !

At least you have those mountain dogs to keep your feet warm, that is if they don't push you out of the bed!!!

Yep, they really do keep you warm in winter. Once in awhile I have had 4 dogs and 1 cat on the bed sleeping with me. Bit much. 3 dogs is ok, but 4 is really crowding the space. lol they all lay so they can look at me. Isn't that cute.
Well dog class went well and I really like the instructor. Every minute of class time is max. One of the best classes I've ever taken. Must be sure tell the instructor that to.
OK, waiting with baited breath to hear report on W.
grid, lost

Time to put into action what coach said tomorrow.

[grid, lost]

Yes it's drywall time this weekend.

Have fun, BTW, I have a carpenter work for you if you get want more work. lol

W is living with D24 because W doesn't make enough to afford an apt on her own, she wants $1200/mo spousal support from me. That's 31% of my take home pay.

Well that is no small piece of pocket change. How can she get that much when she walked out on you??? Don't get me wrong I feel woman should be looked after with D but in your case she walked not you. So would seem her max would be like 20%. Or does it not matter? What does your attorney say? H and I have been together for 20+yrs but only married just under 5 yrs. So if he D me I would be out of luck, except in this state walking out was the worst thing he could do plus I am disabled. So most judges would not look nicely upon him. Just hope he does not file for D. Although he did retain an attorney so I am sure in time he will file. Although wish for 10 yrs M as I would then be entitled to his amount of social security. H agrees that is important. Don't expect him to file right away. Of course if his OW has any brains, she will be to old for kids by the time we would D. Du, what woman wants that sort of long term R?? Answer: the OW ! lol

I've been preapproved for a mortgage loan to borrow enough to give her half of the equity.

GOOD. least you do not have to worry about house./home

Had 1st coaching session tonight. I've only had contact with W about every two weeks, coach said now isn't the time to go dark.

Did the coach say Why you should not go dark???

According to Forbes we are the highest paid blue collar workers in the nation.

Yes, I noticed the same article. Lucky dog, you !

At least you have those mountain dogs to keep your feet warm, that is if they don't push you out of the bed!!!

Yep, they really do keep you warm in winter. Once in awhile I have had 4 dogs and 1 cat on the bed sleeping with me. Bit much. 3 dogs is ok, but 4 is really crowding the space. lol they all lay so they can look at me. Isn't that cute.
Well dog class went well and I really like the instructor. Every minute of class time is max. One of the best classes I've ever taken. Must be sure tell the instructor that to.
OK, waiting with baited breath to hear report on W.
grid, lost

Time to put into action what coach said tomorrow.

[grid, lost]

Yes it's drywall time this weekend.

Have fun, BTW, I have a carpenter work for you if you get want more work. lol

W is living with D24 because W doesn't make enough to afford an apt on her own, she wants $1200/mo spousal support from me. That's 31% of my take home pay.

Well that is no small piece of pocket change. How can she get that much when she walked out on you??? Don't get me wrong I feel woman should be looked after with D but in your case she walked not you. So would seem her max would be like 20%. Or does it not matter? What does your attorney say? H and I have been together for 20+yrs but only married just under 5 yrs. So if he D me I would be out of luck, except in this state walking out was the worst thing he could do plus I am disabled. So most judges would not look nicely upon him. Just hope he does not file for D. Although he did retain an attorney so I am sure in time he will file. Although wish for 10 yrs M as I would then be entitled to his amount of social security. H agrees that is important. Don't expect him to file right away. Of course if his OW has any brains, she will be to old for kids by the time we would D. Du, what woman wants that sort of long term R?? Answer: the OW ! lol

I've been preapproved for a mortgage loan to borrow enough to give her half of the equity.

GOOD. least you do not have to worry about house./home

Had 1st coaching session tonight. I've only had contact with W about every two weeks, coach said now isn't the time to go dark.

Did the coach say Why you should not go dark???

According to Forbes we are the highest paid blue collar workers in the nation.

Yes, I noticed the same article. Lucky dog, you !

At least you have those mountain dogs to keep your feet warm, that is if they don't push you out of the bed!!!

Yep, they really do keep you warm in winter. Once in awhile I have had 4 dogs and 1 cat on the bed sleeping with me. Bit much. 3 dogs is ok, but 4 is really crowding the space. lol they all lay so they can look at me. Isn't that cute.
Well dog class went well and I really like the instructor. Every minute of class time is max. One of the best classes I've ever taken. Must be sure tell the instructor that to.
OK, waiting with baited breath to hear report on W.
grid, lost

Time to put into action what coach said tomorrow.

[micoms]

Grid,

Got enough work around here to keep me busy, LOL. I thought my coaching session went well. Told me to do some things a little differently. Said I shouldn't be going dark, that I should have more contact with W. E-mails, texts and visits at D24's house.

My atty says the court doesn't care who walks out on who, the magistrate decides on what is fair.

Wow, four big dogs in the house, I thought one lab was enough!

Got a few reasons to go to D's house to use coaches advice. Need to get carpet cleaner D borrowed, W's proof of car insurance card are a couple. Go there stay 1/2hr leave and give W a compliment on leaving. Coach said now isn't the time to go dark, more contact with W.

Mike

[micoms]

Went to see family doc, my shoulders been hurting since surgery, he thinks I have a torn rotator cuff. He's ordered a MRI and 6 weeks of physical therapy. Now Mon, Wed and Fri will be work, physical therapy 4:30 to 5:30, cardiac therapy 6 to 7:30, home and make dinner, a shower by then it will be bedtime. Wow what a day!

Going to try to get to D24's house thursday, spend a half an hour and drop off some mail. I'll tell them I have to go, meeting a friend. I might see if D, BF and GS want to go to Chucky Cheese for dinner. GS likes to do some of the games. Make it early and use the meeting friend again. If I had more time I think I'd sign up for some dance lessons.

Had a stress test done, passed with flying colors. OKed to referee soccer games again, although if W wants to work on M, I'm going to quit so we have more time together. She says she doesn't want me to give it up because I'll resent her for it. What's more important? No brainer to me.

Mike

[grid, lost]

I thought my coaching session went well. Told me to do some things a little differently.

Hey Mike, this is wonderful news with telphone coach. Exciting to, waiting and seeing if W responds different. Do post and keep us all abreast of your progress.

Wow, four big dogs in the house, I thought one lab was enough!

No, not four, five dogs. lol I call them my moving carpet as they just stay around you no matter the room. So as soon as I get up and move they follow. I just had my boy Chance down by River for walk, nice day here. Forgot about one thing, Mud! He came home with at least 2 lbs on his underside and legs. Legs have a lot of feathering on them and pick stuff up.
good luck to ya,
grid, lost