When I was really 'working the program' as they say, my H did get more remote at first, lots of sitting and staring. Ignoring him and just being pleasant anyway made it much easier to deal with - and I'm not at all good at letting things go.
Michele does say that her approach is contrary to those who recommend sharing all your feelings. I did that, for a long time, it it never made things better. For a while, my H did an admirable job of listening and being there for me, but I wasn't taking full responsibility for healing (no one can really do it for you), and after some time, he couldn't take it anymore. He gets irritated when I cry, he says, although he was very loving and accepting of those kinds of feelings in our early years.
There was a post on another thread somewhere from a woman who said that she didn't DB in the GAL sense, since she already had one - instead, her 180s involved behaviour that made her husband feel more cared for and brought them closer together - things like making special appetizers for him before dinner, watching football with him, laughing at his jokes. I've found similar, but different, things effective - you really have to figure out what works and doesn't work in your house!
I don't like journaling long hand, but I found it very helpful to take note of things in my posts - not that I've ever re-read them. Maybe writing things down, stuff you notice on a day to day basis, would help you.
