Karen,

I'm not familiar with your entire sitch as this thread is the only one (of yours) that I have read. I don't really have any advice to give, and all I can honestly say is I'm shocked. I can't, for the life of me, understand why your H is still living in your house with you. He is being allowed to remain there while actively continuing his R with the OW??? Right in front of you, no less!

I am very sorry, Karen, but this is so unbelievable and it just angers me to no end! Of course you and H get along 99% of the time - Your H gets to have the best of both worlds! What's the man got to complain about?!! He gets to keep his security blanket (living at home with you and the kids) while blatantly continuing an A with another woman! Why does he do this? Because he's allowed to!

Again, I am sorry. I'm just so mad for you !

I can totally understand that you love your H, and that you certainly don't want to drive him away. But what about you, Karen? Do you love and have any self-respect for yourself?

That reminds me - you said before, "...Remember that I am just a SAHM and he is a lawyer."

What does that mean??? That you are less of a person, that your wants, needs, opinions don't matter??? That YOU don't matter??!!!

I am a SAHM, too, but I'll be damned if I ever let my H or anyone else ever make me feel like I don't have a say in anything. I may not earn a huge income like my H, but I do just as much as he does, if not more in some ways. Yes, he goes out and works his butt off to provide for his family, but I work just as hard to raise 3 boys while maintaining a household. I do not sit on my a$$ all day, everyday. There are always things that need to be done - cleaning, laundry, cooking, running errands, school projects, after school activities/sports,.....You know what I'm talking about!

YOU ARE WORTH A WHOLE LOT MORE AND DESERVE BETTER!!! Set those boundaries and STICK TO 'EM. Easier said than done, I know this, but you can do it, Karen. Put your foot down and quit enabling your H in continuing with his foolishness.

Whew...ok, I'm done. Sorry if this was harsh, but I had to let it out. 3 years ago, I don't think I would've been strong enough to say anything along these lines. Not just to others, but to myself as well.

Take care.

Last edited by Uncertainty; 02/11/08 10:31 PM.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell