When I do it right then the DBing goes well. Tonight was a good night. Her admitting that `we` might have a possibility... who knows the future? That she could let the OM go for the good of a R. I tried a bit of reverse phycology again, I know that her R with OM can go nowhere (except as her being the OW in his M). SO when she mentioned him in conversation (talking about him in a friend way) I said that it was great she had his support and I didnt want to force them apart. I know he is important for her for now. She looked a bit relaxed at that, which prompted her to say the things I mentioned above. We had a chat about non important things for a while too tonight which has been rare recently.
I ducked out of the conversation on my own terms tonight instead of overstaying my welcome. Which was also good. My main problem is that I can see the baby steps, and if I get a roll going.. maybe 2 or 3 in a conversation or throughout the day then I keep going for just one more... just one more... just.. oh crap blew it!! Learning to control that.
Saw (was not looking for it) a valentines day card between her papers, sticking out. It wasnt closed so I had a look. Mainly I wanted to see if it was mine, as she said she bought one, and I wanted to see the tone, so I could write mine accordingly. Anyway it was for OM, in fact there were 2 for him, I think one she mustnt have liked the message she wrote so tried a new one. Anyway, the gist was that she thanked him for his support and for making her laugh and smile during the day, and generally for being around for her. It was not signed `love from`, just Ws name and a couple of kisses. That is a positive. I am sure he will get her one, and another guy in her work will get her one, and she got an anonymous card today. She said she will show me the anon one and the other friends one, but probably not the OMs card. (ahhh big loss for me there). She said he might not send her one... I think he will. But I dont care!!
On the whole a good night, tomorrows goal is to be cool and calm again and have another pleasant night.
Cheers all, thanks for reading!!
Steve
PS. anyone have any ideas for a suitable Valentines message for when in this sitch... maybe a nice poem or something if someone knows a good one.
Me 27 W 30 M 2yrs/ T 5yrs Expecting our first child Sept 08 warning bomb (has feelings for someone) 21/12/08 I found out about OM (by snooping) 14/1/08 Living together.
