Willing to be disturbed...

[cat03]

I know some of this is related to the actual physical state of my home -everything needs to be cleaned, picked up, polished, organized etc.

you must be talking about my home right? :P It also gets to me to see the place a mess, it really gets to me (even worse when it's done while i'm at work and H is off and kids dont' pick up their mess, its been a sore spot between us always).
Anyways.... Begin with a corner, looking at the whole thing overwhelms you and makes you want to scream,so, pick a corner/section of your house, splurge on something (I gave up on the old sponge mop,I bought a wet jet thingie to clean my kitchen floor, much faster and no need to wring the sponge!)

Good points to remind yourself when you are about to get in attack mode, I'll quote you here:
* Why would anyone want to be giving to someone that is throwing barbs? * no one wants to loving if the other person is demanding it.

*What do you think we can do to fix it?* the word 'we' is the key here, good point

If you have one around your area, go to the Container Store, oh!!!! I salivate there, lol, it should give you some incentive and ideas to get new organizational gear, he he.