Lan, It seems like you want her to approach the marital problems using your style. You need to give her the freedom to be herself.
I can understand your fear of backsliding. However, your fear is going to undermine your reconciliations efforts.
If you feel like you need a concrete plan to move ahead, develop one for yourself. Working on oneself first is the foundation for successful relational problem-solving. If your W isn't ready to hit the ground running with relational problem-solving than take stock of yourself, and see what you can still improve.
Work on managing stress and your emotions. Your fear is a trigger for thinking that unless your W acts the way you want her to, then the M is doomed.
Slow down your spinning mind. Work with and accept what you have--moment to moment, day to day. Influence what you can, accept the rest. Build on the positives in yourself and your M.
You say that you and W will talk tonight. How about putting more emphasis on listening, and finding out what's important to her? If she feels like you're not attuned to that, there will be no forward movement in the M.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
