Update to my sitch, the end has come

[mako_man]

Thanks to all, in the beginning I thought I was dealing with the typical WAW stuff, read the DB books, played the game. Started dating again after 8 months and that did prompt a strong reaction from her. Plus, I have been down this seperation road with her, its a real love story so to speak, or more appropriately a horror story with some passionate parts thrown in the mix over 2 years. She also must understand and cope with the Bipolar and other psychological issues, which are really the catalysts for this latest collapse. I have always been that security blanket, perhaps an enabler, and no more than now when her life was close to an end. How will she react when she is sure that blanket, that NET is gone? How far will she fall next time? I know its all about the kids, always has been for me, but I still have that silly "leave no man behind" gene planted firmly in my brain, and this isnt any person, this is my wife and the mother of my children. I am struggling with doing the RIGHT thing for my children, for myself but that also means leveling perhaps a fatal blow to someone that I still love, my head feels like watermelon thats been dropped from a 10 story roof. There are big chunks of clear thoughts, and a lot of scattered pieces that I also have to put into place and time is always against me because of courts, lawyers, and this damn silly feeling of love. How much am I supposed to take? In brutal combat many marines will relatively quickly become indifferent to all the bloodshed, to the point where they can sit down and eat chow with dead bodies all around them. Is this what has happened to me? Its like I have been so desensitized to her madness, seen so much of it that I just keep pushing through without really stopping to let it all sink in. I dont think thats strength, I think I am able to put up a solid front against this sh*t, and I am afraid to let it down, else this womans madness will slam me to the ground and keep me there. Bah, Im rambling, sorry.