Calling all experts, non experts...serious opinion

[kikifree]

When H was here ,he was grabbing some things from the shed.

I asked him for the baby stuff my parents gave me that is stored in his parents. Where he is going on vacation.

H said..you cant have that
I said My parents gave me that. And I would like it back .

H says-they gave us that and what do you want it for.,,yu arn't pregnant are you..

I said no, but one day if I have another child I could use it.

H : Well, what if I have another child..

H has no idea what baby stuff is even there, He just doesnt want to give it to me.

I said a woman would probably want new stuff for her child. It is my stuff and I CAN use it again.

WEll , h just shrugged it off.
Is he going to give it to me?No!! Funny.

[Cinderellaman]

would you really consider having another child with someone ?

I personally wouldn't...then again, I have 3 kids and I would just feel that I would be betraying them in a way..but that's just me...sorry...

I do think that if the stuff is yours, it's yours ! I think, leave it a bit, he'll probably let go of it one day...

[kikifree]

You never know what the future has in store.I used to be closed to the idea but you never know.

I also know a 17 yr old girl who is having ababy(i know, God Bless them) so I thought she could use a coulple of things. It is a bouncer,swing and playpen.

I figured since he was taking stuff and going to their house, now would be a good time to ask. I have been thinking about it for awhile.

[kikifree]

I was just thinking about the conversation H and I had about his parents.

I asked him why haven't his parents reached out to me. Why haven't they spoken to me..I told H I needed clarity and closure on that because It was one of the most hurtful experiences.

H said that when he was s angry at me , he would vent to them. He had noone else to vent to. H said he told his mom to stop speaking to me .

H said it is them , not him. They are not me,,he said.

i said they are a part of you. H said again that that was them , not him.

I expressed to him how hurt I was by that.

H again said he didnt know and couldnt answer me.

Interesting...

[kikifree]

I personally believe all MLCers think about or return.

But if the LBS has not done anything to work on themselves..it will not happen.

Just a thought..a brilliant one!

And if he doesnt and you have grown..you will be better than okay.

[Jeanette1120]

Hey Keekers!!

Yup, your H's a trip huh? If it wasn't so damn tragic it might be funny.

You sound like your in a good place right now. Stay there.

But let me ask you this...

If you could, would you restore your marriage even after divorce?

You see, some have to divorce....in order to maintain control of the situation without looking weak in the eyes of others.

I'm seriously missing mine as of late, and GOOD dreams are coming back, so I'm thinking of ways I can try to open the lines of communication with him. Without scaring him.....so very tiring.

Rich was an Air Traffic Controller, now he is the Supervisor. His voice is very calming (most times)....

Today, actually just a few mins ago, i sent a text...he replied, i replied, he replied....

It's a record setting day.

Any thoughts on how I can approach him without scaring him away???

Hugs Keekers...

Jeanette

[kikifree]

Hey Jeanette,

Thanks. I feel good.

I have thought about what would I say when (notice, I say when )H asks to try.I would tell him I want to see where that road would take us.

If anything it would be new.

I say just be yourself. How would you treat a new friend?

If you desire to casually call him to see how he is doing , just do it. Don't expect anything(good or bad) and just be you. That is how everything flows.

It will be natural. Because we are doing what we want to.

THe conversations may not flow at first because it is on a different level.

I don't know..just my opinion.

Look today, you texted. Because you wanted to do it , you did it and it flowed!!!



You always sound good!

[bright 2 morro]

Kiki,
I am feeling your pain in regards to the money. I am under the financial presure as we speak. I am getting it all.

This is only what I can afford. I am told I am gready and selfish if I do not agree to his amount. I never consider him or what he could have with the kids.

We are off by about 600 a month. He asked me to think about an offer but in conversations he implies that if I do anything but what he wants he will fight me in court. He has even told me that if I don't agree to his amount he will never consider coming back but if I do there may still be a chance.

Yesterday I actually got the guts up to tell him that if he wants to think that I do not consider him that there was nothing I could do. I told him that he could stop threatening me with the marriage because I did not care if he wanted to come back or not (which I have gotten to that point now). I told him that when he left for someone else he gave up all rights to think that I should look out for his well being because he obviously did not take our marriage seriously.

I guess I have gotten to the point that I do not care anymore. And I will not let him manipulate me into giving him everything he wants. I no longer need to please him.

I did want out marriage back and I wish it could be. I am not sure if that is what I want anymore. He tells me he cares about me but if he did how could he be doing everything he is to me.

Keep up the good spirits. Have you made a decision about what you are going to do?

B2M

[Jeanette1120]

{{{Hugs}}} Keekers....

Thanks for the boost!!

How are you? How was the weekend??

[kikifree]

Good Monday Morning!!!

Hi Bright 2 moro and Jeanette, , I am sorry you have to deal with all this nonsense.

Ahh. If you were greedy and selfish , he would never have married you. too bad!!!

I decided i will go ahead and get what is fair for me and d7.

i am not out to get him or even angry at him. But as he is watching out for himself..so are we.

it is hard because I care for him butif I take away his consequence ...what will he learn/grow from???

I had a nice weekend. I went to a friend's for a "slumber party" . Like avon..but SEXY!!

It was fun.

H is away and has not called since he left. So again, he is out of sight, out of mind.

I miss my dogggies , though.

And Jeanette how are you?? Anymore encounters????