I had some R talk with W last night and it's left me so frustrated that I'm not sure if I can accurately portray the conversation in this post.
The bottom line is W wants to reconcile but she doesn't want any help, so no MC, no books, no reading materials, no Retrouvaille, no computers, nothing, she just wants us to carry on as we are and see if we can get along. Kinda like sweeping things under the carpet and not addressing any of the issues. I mean, we tried this way two years ago and only managed to get back to this poor position. Already in this short space of time I can see similar patterns of behaviour occurring and similar mistakes about to be made, in short I can see a train wreck approaching.
W has also said that she thinks I spend too much time on the computer, in her words "she can't get her head around it", she doesn't understand the need. I tried to explain to her that I read marriage and relationship stuff cos I don't want to make the same mistakes as before. I tried to explain my current book (5 Love Languages) to her, but I could literally hear the tumble weed blowing across the room as I was talking. It seems she's just not receptive to any of these things.
W has always been very good when we argue cos she can shout without thinking, but when it comes to deep conversations she just clams up and leaves me to talk. This past six months has seen me arm myself with so much knowledge that a lot of things I want to talk about will be too revolutionary,and over the top for her. So I can see a long struggle ahead.
We did touch on things like her falling asleep, H & W time to compliment family time. Also the need to talk more, but she said my computer time gets in the way of this and by the time I'm ready to talk it's late and she wants to sleep. I could dispute that, but ok, I'm gonna make time in the evenings to talk.
So I want to move forward and reconsile but I don't want to move forward without a plan of action, I think we need more than "lets see if we can get on".
