I fell on my sword and apologized for everything and anything
Please discontinue this. how long did this behavior go on for? You should also discontinue closely monitoring her and watching her for 'improvements'. Thats NOT easy.
(e.g., 15 years ago I got mad at her for going to a tupperware party instead of spending the evening with me. I made a negative comment about her involvment in church activites one time. I almost forgot to get her something for mother's day once and ran out to get a gift at the last minute)
This type of thing is a pretty predictable indicator of an affair of some type. It helps them assuage their guilt and justify their actions. When it occurs just consider it to be talking out loud rhetorically. Listen. ponder. I can't emphasize the following enough. DO NOT Take it Personal. If she says I dont like mushrooms, its not a personal attack. If she says I dont like it when you scream at the TV during the superbowl, its not a personal attack. Its a statement of preferance. She doesnt have to eat mushrooms, and she doesnt have to be in the room when you scream at the Ref. [these are examples] Do not provide solutions unless specifically asked for one. Even then you dont have to provide a solution. You have a lot of your own stuff/issues/life to provide solutions for.
She is a wonderful person of good values and it is inconceivable to me that she would ever cheat on me or even leave me. There is value in the latter mindset, when trying to reconcile your M, but not in the former.
You obviously are aware that some of the things you did were crappy, or you wouldnt have 'fallen on your sword', but also seem pretty aware that those particular incidents in and of themselves are pretty trivial. If youve apologized for them, and dont do it anymore, move on, and stop allowing her to hold it over your head. Whatever was truly making her feel uncared for quite likely remains a mystery.
Oh yes, the latest development came this weekend when she told me that I am a very wealthy man (which is true) and that she has a real issue with that (which she acknowledges is her problem).
Yes it IS her problem. On several levels no doubt. IF ---BIGGG IFF--- she had an affair and stays/ed with you for financial security reasons, she has to look at herself in the mirror and reevaluate herself and who she really is and how whe feels about herself knowing that. Probably not to easy.
No do NOT feel bad for your accomplishments. If she isnt proud of you for your accomplishments, you should ask yourself how that makes you feel. Why do need or want a woman who doesnt support or appreciate you? I bet you support her.
Of the things that she has complained about, which ones hit at your insecurities? [you dont have to answer this here] Work on them, For You. Be grateful she pointed them out to you. You can even thank her for pointing it out to you, while keeping your focus on working on it. Im serious.
If we could understand the woman code, we would all be HeMen. [reminds me of a song by Extreme. LOL] Heck if they didnt mix the man improving in with trying to turn us into their girlfriends it might even be more understandable.
Im serious. 
