Confusion of a WAW (Thread 7)

Phew - Long day. Only now at 11pm do I get to flop on the couch and relax for a while.

W IM'd me pretty early today that D had wandered off to bed for a nap, so we ended up getting together around noon for lunch, then we went and picked up a few things before heading back to my house. I was pretty busy working on things, and D was just watching TV and playing with toys. W started doing painting - I guess she's planning on being around a while, since she started painting my kitchen, hallway, front door, porch and back entrance way with primer. She picked out a color for the kitchen (grey/blue - actually really nice) and we decided on a color for the front door.

W was going to leave around 6, but she decided to come to Target with D and I to pick up a kitchen table and some other stuff. Stopped off at Starbucks to get coffee for W, and we put D to bed (she's with me tonight). Figured W would just bail out. Nope, she takes her coat off and starts painting again. I kept myself busy with other things, then W decided she was going to leave. After she got home she IM'd me to let me know she'd stop by in a while with a stuffy for D that was left at her house... So, back she comes with it. She was pretty responsive to hugs and kisses, but I didn't over do it. When she was leaving she told me she'd be back tomorrow to do more painting.

We've been talking on IM off and on tonight since she got home. She was pushing pretty hard to keep D tonight, even though it's my weekend - I suggested I watch her tonight so W can get some sleep, and W can watch her tomorrow. As seems to be W's current MO, she's not doing much unless she goes with me - Kind of sad really.

She's no where near as happy as she was earlier in the week. It's not as if she won't do anything, but I can see her withdrawing a lot. I guess it's good that she'll participate with a little push from me, but I think it'll just take time for her to start to feel like herself again.

Got to make plans for her birthday and valentines day early next week... No idea what is 'too much' or 'not enough'.

[JennyF]

Hey Brit,
As for Valentines...make it all about your D. She'll love it, then it doesn't have to be all mushy love stuff, but more like candies and hearts for a 2 year old! Maybe make are card for your W with D.

I really don't get all the painting. I mean she was going on and on about how one day she hopes to have a place a nice as yours, and now she's treating yours like hers. Weird.
I think IM thing is good. You are definitely on her mind.
J~

[lizzy]

Hi Brit, I stopped by your thread early today and was going to post and then H walked in.

I agree with Jenny, make Valentines Day about your D. I won't fall for the test and get your W the necklace she showed you. I don't get that given that status of your R. If my H gave me something like that this week, I would be certain the world was coming to an end. It just doesn't make sense at this point. Since you and D enjoy Starbucks, I would suggest something from there if anything. I actually haven't been a big fan of the day since I was no longer a child. Back then I loved trading cards w/ classmates. Now it just is one of those days to be disappointed by the over marketing of expensive gifts that never live up to your expectations. Wow, do I sound bitter?! Sorry I didn't mean to ramble in your thread.

I can use your W to help w/ some painting around here. H agreed the other day that the house needs new carpet. I don't know what to do about picking out paint. I'm sure he won't want to go so I think I'll show him some paint chips and see what he says. I just find it so interesting how your W is picking out so much for your house. I won't try to analyze that like you know I love to do.

Now it just is one of those days to be disappointed by the over marketing of expensive gifts that never live up to your expectations. Wow, do I sound bitter?! Sorry I didn't mean to ramble in your thread.

Lol - You forget I work for a jewelery company. Everyone spends their days this week rubbing their hands together and watching how much crap people buy each day. Ramble away - It's good therapy.

I don't think I'm going to get W anything for V day - We really never did much for it in the past, and it's just way too stupid and obvious at this point.

I talked to W pretty early today, since the weather was so great out I figured we could do something. Ended up going to lunch with D, which was a lot of fun. Then we went to a computer store to buy some stuff (My computer that has ALL my pictures and stuff on died in the move!!). D got tired, so I dropped W off at her house and took D home. W came back over later this evening, so we gave D a bath together and played until she went to bed. W ended up leaving after that, but we've been talking on IM every since... I took D tonight since I didn't want W to drive too much tomorrow if the weather is bad. Plus one of her cats is sick, so I offered to take it to the vet tomorrow night - Usually she'd be pretty resistive to that, but she said that would be nice. Didn't get any painting done today, so I guess we'll have to do that another day.

W isn't the way she was earlier this week - She still seems kind of down, but at least she is spending LOADS of time with D and I. Need to get something figured out for her b/day in a couple of weeks - Maybe we can have some fun and get away from 'all of this' for an evening.

[lizzy]

I did remember Brit that you work for a jewelry co. I was just picking my words carefully so that I wouldn't offend you. H has never really given me jewelry for Valentines Day and I can't really remember flowers either. Last year he did give me my all time favorite candy, but I don't expect that this year. If he gives me a card I'm sure it will be very generic and just for the sake of the Ds.

I did remember Brit that you work for a jewelry co. I was just picking my words carefully so that I wouldn't offend you.

Offend away - It takes a lot with me

H has never really given me jewelry for Valentines Day and I can't really remember flowers either. Last year he did give me my all time favorite candy, but I don't expect that this year. If he gives me a card I'm sure it will be very generic and just for the sake of the Ds.

My W and I never did much for V day either - W's birthday is a week later, so it always clashed. We would specifically avoid going out for dinner that night because it was so busy. I know we didn't do anything for V day other than a card last year because it was when we had that crazy snow storm around here, but when I got her flowers for her birthday she got mad because I wasted money... Can't win I guess.

Uh, so I've been talking to W off and on all day on IM - Mostly about tax stuff because we owe this year, but she has been pretty friendly.

Tonight is W's night with D, but I offered to pick D up since the weather is bad and it's kind of on my way home (it's a 40mile round trip for W otherwise). W said I could if I wanted to, then suggested we go to the grocery store together afterwards, and she can make dinner for us and some other stuff.

W seems kind of moody today - Not sure why. Don't think work is too much fun for her right now.

Wasn't expecting to see W tonight, so I guess this is a nice surprise...

Pretty interesting night... I picked up D and met W at her house. W just jumped in my car and we went to the grocery store to pick up some food. They didn't have what we went for, so W set about picking up all sorts of things to make dinner. We ended up with quite a haul of stuff. D was really cranky, so we bailed out of there quickly and went back to W's house.

I'd not been in W's house for a few days, but she has spend A LOT of time cleaning it up, organizing everything and making it very comfy. She commented that she needed stuff to do to keep her busy and make her feel useful. She even moved her TV down to the basement and cleaned up her living room. D got mad because she wanted to watch Dora and there wasn't a TV anywhere

W cooked dinner for us all, then we gave D a bath and put her to bed. I was going to help W put a new faucet on her bathroom sink, but she seemed like she wanted some time to herself - She was tinkering with some computer stuff and just seemed like she wanted to be alone. She wasn't herself, but she was really friendly with me tonight. She initiated hugs and kisses when I left, which was nice.

When we were out W talked a lot, but not about anything very important. She commented that she had 'blocked a bunch of people on IM today', but didn't say who. I'd bet money that she's talking about OM, and by her comments she threw up on myspace tonight, she's moving on from that. Will it last? Who knows...

Oh, I also asked W if there was something she wanted for her birthday. She said she couldn't think of anything, but she'd let me know. She also asked me what I wanted for my b/day too (about three weeks after W's). I think I need to do something special, but not too crazy. Need to think about it more I guess

W talked to me off and on today via IM. Then I get this:

(3:28:02 PM) W: did you want to do something for dinner?

Dinner two nights in a row - Unusual. Guess I need to get my brain going for V day, since we're playing happy family again. Everything just 'feels' normal right now - Except for the not living together thing and no sex. So, I guess it's like a regular marriage, but not living together

[smith18]

It sounds good about the possibility of blocking OM on IM and the organizing of her house. Give it time as it sounds like things are progressing well.

BTW... What is your W's attraction of using myspace?