Tackling MY Future with Enjoyment!

[WCW]

Jeanette, you posted this on FIB's thread and I hope you don't mind if I bring it over here. I feel a bit like you posting over there (intimidated?), or even on the MLC forum in general! But I really wanted to say something about this.

If you feel that divorcing and moving on is what you need to do, then do it quickly and move on. Don't give your XWIFE NOTHING to hold onto. Don't drop a crumb, don't offer a hug, just do it and get it over with.

I get it Jeanette, I understand what you were trying to say. FIB knows that he won't consider a simple act of kindness from his W as a sign of reconciliation or her knowing the work she needs to put into the M. Mrs FIB doesn't understand though that a hug of comfort when she asks or FIB bringing the kids over for pizza by her work doesn't mean anything more than just being cordial, she thinks it's a crumb.

My H has been in the D mode for years, yet doesn't act on it or at least not in a way that I can tell. I did recently learn some things that may prove otherwise, but it is nothing he will admit to me. The killer though is when he does act kind or do something nice for me and I think is this a change? Not really, but he gets me every time even after all this time. I am stuck, he is stuck, we are stuck together, which in his mind means misery.

Being stuck sucks. Just like you with the house, you can't really move on with your life when you still have ties that bind. It's like they don't want to let you go enough that you don't still need them for something. I tried to talk to my H again, I said I was planning some trips and wondered if he would still be around to help with all the 'ranch' chores. He said sure, even if he wasn't living here I could still count on him to do chores while I was gone. I asked why he would want to do that? His answer - just because I leave doesn't mean I have to hate you!

Well, sorry this turned out to be a hijack, but I think I know where you were coming from!