I feel like I'm spinning out of control

[KPK]

Hi Mishka,

Thanks for the response. My computer somehow got infected with several nasty viruses and had to go to the "computer hospital", so I've been without my laptop for over a week- it's been torture.

Thanks for the advice- I absolutely know you're right. And I am starting to make a list of all the things that interest me, and that I want to get back to. For instance, I use to take violin lessons several years ago, and I'm starting again this week. So, I'm working on it. It's just the absolute lack of understanding on his part why I am upset about this separation- he REALLY, REALLY doesn't understand. I cannot fathom it, and it just makes me more sad. I do have to stop trying to figure him out, it won't work. I also need to seek some IC- haven't done it yet, but I definitely need to. It's just this cycling of emotions that's getting to me. One day I'm totally happy, ready to move on, the next I'm a mess. Right now he's out "doing things"- he's actually moving furniture into the new place he's renting (it's a friend's house, and all the furniture was in storage and has just come out). So, I'm sad, and when I get sad I get tired and lethargic, which doesn't help anything. Ugh. And I'm also trying to reconnect with my spiritual side- I think it would help.

He really thinks we're going to be best buddies after he leaves, and that he'll be here all the time to be with the kids. I guess I have it better than many, whose S walks, leaving them totally alone and financially a mess. He's being nice, friendly and generous, so I should be thankful, which I am. It just hurts me that this doesn't seem to be hurting him, and that I cannot picture my future without him.

I suppose that's why they say this whole thing is a rollercoaster

I haven't caught up on your thread yet, but will do it now. I hope all is well.

(((Mishka)))