I don't know what to say. The points your H makes in the fight show that he is only interested in pleasing himself. I don't know how you can get in there and make your feelings important to him. He won't dialogue because it makes him feel bad to hear how you feel. And he doesn't need to change. Really, these things don't go together. The point is that he does need to change because what he does hurts you. If he is not hiding something with these paltry excuses, then I don't see a way to reach any conclusion but that this man is too self-centered to have a loving relationship with anyone but himself.
