"I do know one of the MLCer's excuses is the marriage made me do it, at least in my H's case. He has often used the bad marriage excuse with me and others. I don't buy it. Yes there were things that could have been better, but then why not address them? Just doesn't add up.

My H has stepped through the looking glass as far as I can see. Think I will not follow."

My H never said that. He said his affair had nothing to do with me, that we had a great marriage, that I was a good wife and mother. Never blamed me for the affair.

However, what I did discover while conversing with him a little over a year ago was that he could no longer be the sole financial provider. When that came out, I said to him that we discussed these things a long time ago and that we agreed that I would stay home, take care of the kids, homeschool them, etc.

Then I asked him why he never came to me about this, that I would have been more than willing to step in and do what I could financially. He was speechless because he knew he did not discuss with me about how he wanted me to get a job to help out.

Maybe your H does not know how to address problems or was afraid to?

The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19