I am new to DB but I have read Michele's books and many of the posts but I have one particular issue with which I continue to struggle. My wife of 24 years told me two years ago that she did not think we could ever be anything more than co-parents to our four children because, in her view, we got married too young and were just incompatable. She stopped making love to me and resisted all affection from me, finally asking me not to touch her, which I have respected ever since. About four months ago, I stopped chasing her in any way and started implementing many of the DB techniques. I have seen small but still positive results. For example, she had moved into an empty bedroom down the hallway but for the past several weeks is now sleeping in a couch in our bedroom. That is a far cry from sleeping in our bed with me, but moving back into our bedroom still seems like meaningful progress. She refuses to talk about our future or give me an assurance that there will be one and I now know to not even ask about this. She is a wonderful person of good values and it is inconceivable to me that she would ever cheat on me or even leave me. Her worst threats are always about us staying together solely as co-parents in a sexless marriage (something months ago she said we may have to consider). We were in marrage counseling for a year and a half but it seemed to be of little value. She recited her long list of hurts over the years (e.g., 15 years ago I got mad at her for going to a tupperware party instead of spending the evening with me. I made a negative comment about her involvment in church activites one time. I almost forgot to get her something for mother's day once and ran out to get a gift at the last minute). I fell on my sword and apologized for everything and anything. I changed my behavior and helped out around the house more than any husband I know. All of this made very little difference and if the topic of sex came up in marriage counseling, my wife immediately shut down and stopped talking. So what do I do now? Any suggestions? Should I initiate being affectionate with her once again or should I just tell her I am calling it quits and moving on with a life without her. I hate the latter but it at least seems to get her attention. Oh yes, the latest development came this weekend when she told me that I am a very wealthy man (which is true) and that she has a real issue with that (which she acknowledges is her problem). So now I am supposed to feel bad because I have worked hard all my life and now make a good living financially? I love my wife but I am not really sure what happened to her.
