I am glad you all like my country. I do too. I love it actually. Ali, when you come, if you come in through Athens airport, we've got to meet. Ok?
What's the sitch Ali? I've been sad and depressed and currently I am building myself an incredible anger. I knows it shows I am not detached but I also feel my pride and self preservation are kicking in.
He dropped the kids off earlier. Stayed for 15 minutes, I invited him to sit down, he said "you know I have to be at work in 30 minutes, I need to go", but he did sit down and we chatted about the kids etc. I was my usual self, friendly and looked great (I know he notices more lately), BUT I was distant. He sensed it and I believe he felt what I was trying to get to him: that I am slowly, very painfully, forced to detach and I am not fighting it anymore.
So this is what I will be doing -unless you guys advise otherwise-: I will not be available when he calls I will keep our communication to the minimum level I will be friendly and easygoing and relaxed when we have any kind of interaction (kind of not hard feelings, close to no feelings at all) I will NOT send any text msgs again like I did (I miss u, when will you get it, blah,blah, blah) I will be going out every Friday when the baby sitter sleeps in (arrangement presviously done while he was here to have the chance to go out together-I continue to pay her and keep her here on Fridays) I will make sure there is somekind of mystery around my whereabouts etc. but never-never imply there is somebody else I will start my painting again so that I can earn some more money which I will use solely for travelling I want to do I will stop helping him out with anything but I will not refuse to, I will just avoid to I will be asking him to contribute more to the children's upbringing and he will have to make the time I will become even prettier and make sure he sees it I will be positive about my life in general I will take the kids away on my own for a weekend for skiing If I have the money I will throw a party for my birthday at a little bar I like I'll concetrate on my work more and see what changes I can make happen there I'll be open to flirting, just flirting (Lan, fb2, not with this guy, he is friend I want him to stay a friend)
This weekend I didn't call him (I usually don't) or answered his phone calls at all (usually do) which was strange for me. He never asked me anything about it. It seems he doesn't care but if he is human he must care just a little bit. No matter what, the idea of your funs quiting is not favorable for anyone.
I am so mad at him being such a wimp, I could hit him real hard. The words of my friend yesterday telling me "he is just gaining time because he doesn't have the strength to detach form you, but he doesn't want to be with you " really hurt. If that's the case and he is prolonging my suffering just to feel at ease, makes me really really mad. If our M ends like this, I know for sure who will be the one suffering at the end, and it won't be me. I think I have paid my dues.
