My H has found a place to live, and will probably be moving in the next month. He is still being generous in his support (i.e. based on our income discrepancies he'll be paying 80% of the bills to keep this house), and nice. The thing is he cannot understand why, every time he brings up the apartment, moving his stuff etc... I get (subtly) upset (I cry when I'm alone). He can see it by the expression on my face. He really, really doesn't understand how tis is affecting me, and how it will affect the kids. He is mystified why this move is bothering me- I knew it was coming, and it's my fault he's leaving, right, so why is it bothering me. OH MY GOD!!! I have really been trying to understand where he's coming from, but I just can't- how can he NOT understand- he's walking out on me and our family. Is this normal?!? It's like he's got no emotions at all.
Some days I feel great- happy, like I can conquer this, like I'm totally distant from him and his problems. I have plans to do new things for myself, be a better mother, etc... Then the next day I just want to sit and cry. And I keep cycling back and forth. I feel like I'm insane, and I don't know how to keep going.
