Cat,
Keep working in you. Accept that you will have those sad and hopeless moments. But know that you can take yourself out of those moments.

Look at this as an opportunity to really find out who YOU are and what YOU want out of life. And do it.

With each day, try to let go a little more of your H and his recent behavior. Let go and let God.

Married 9 years
Kids 5 and 6
Bomb 2006
H back and forth for a year
M now back on track